Out of the Land of Nowhere

Daniel and Maya were brother and sister.

But they never found anything to play together.

‘I'm bored,’ said Daniel. ‘I wish Captain Dogtooth was here.’

The curtains blew in with the smell of the sea. The bed lifted up with the swell of the great, blue waves. And out of the Land of Nowhere…Captain Dogtooth appeared!

His eyes were wild. His clothes were wet. His beard was tangled and red. He pulled some seaweed from his ear. Then he lifted his hat and said,

‘I've sailed the oceans for many long years, through tropics and storms and ice.

I've fished in dangerous waters for fish that weren't very nice.

I've wrestled with sharks and squashed a few squid with never a twinge of fear.

But there's one I've not caught. And just as I thought, it seems that he's lurking in here!’

‘In here?’ said Daniel, ‘What is it?’

Captain Dogtooth looked under the bed.

‘The great, green, seven-finned, lobster-clawed, purple-eyed, wave-slurping, rock-crunching Thing,’ he said.

Just at that moment Maya came in.

‘Who are you talking to?’ she said.

‘No one,’ said Daniel as Captain Dogtooth disappeared, behind the billowing curtains.

 

That evening Maya was bored.

‘I wish Starface the Spaceman was here,’ she said.

The moon rose up over the back garden. The stars came out and shone on the kitchen wall.  And out of the Land of Nowhere…Starface the Spaceman appeared!

His face was brown. His eyes were brave. His boots had a bouncing tread. He brushed some moondust from his suit. Then he took off his helmet and said,

‘I've travelled the furthest galaxies, through the murkiest bits of space.

I've whizzed after fire-ball comets and dodged through an asteroid race.

I've spun around Saturn and looped around Mars and zoomed to the moon for a day.

But an alien thief with shiny, green teeth has taken my space-ship away!’

Just at that moment Daniel came in.

‘Who are you talking to?’ he said.

‘No one,’ said Maya as Starface the Spaceman disappeared, under the kitchen table.

 

The next day, Maya found Daniel creeping around the back garden.

‘What are you doing?’ she said.

‘I'm helping to catch the great, green, seven-finned, lobster-clawed, purple-eyed, wave-slurping, rock-crunching Thing,’ he told her, ‘But Captain Dogtooth is very fierce.’

‘And I'm helping Starface the Spaceman to build a rocket,’ said Maya, ‘But he's very serious.’

‘I wish Bigbones the Clown was here,’ said Daniel, ‘She'd soon cheer them up.’

‘I didn't know you knew Bigbones the Clown!’ said Maya.

‘I didn't know you did!’ said Daniel.

All of a sudden, they heard the roar of the crowd.

The sun shone down like a spotlight upon the grass. The music seeped from the ends of the garden. And out of the Land of Nowhere…Bigbones the Clown appeared!

She was very small. Her face was painted. Her trousers were baggy. Orange hair burst from her head. She pulled a banana from her ear. Then she beeped her red nose and said,

‘I've heard all the saddest stories and never a happy end.

I've broken my heart at the saddest songs and thought it would never mend.

But, whenever the lights come onto the stage, I'll tumble and dance and mime, because things can't be bad or boring or sad, when you're having a jolly good time!’

‘Hooray!’ shouted Daniel and Maya as everyone joined in.

They juggled with balls. They hula'd the hoop. They threw custard pies. They chased each other in circles and never caught up.

‘In all my life,’ said the Captain, ‘Fishing the Terrible Seas, I’ve never had such a wonderful time as tumbling onto my knees!’

‘And in all my life,’ said the Spaceman, ‘Surfing galactic skies, I’ve never had such a wonderful time as fighting with custard pies!  

 

But finally, the day grew cooler. The shadows grew longer. Daniel and Maya heard their Mum calling for tea.

‘See you tomorrow!’ they said.

And then, back to the Land of Nowhere, Captain Dogtooth, Starface the Spaceman and Bigbones the Clown, disappeared.