The minutes and the hours

By Parson Thru

Fri, 15 Jun 2018
  • 1816 reads
7 comments
 

Slowly, surely, repeated many times, it’s making sense.

It’s the minutes and the hours, not long-awaited and meticulously-planned set-pieces.

It’s not gratification deferred, delayed, anticipated and, often as not, unrealised.

It’s the strangers in the street or on the bus, the waiters and the barmen, laughter in the meeting room.

The hug, the handshake, the unexpected smile, the look exchanged.

Eager conversations on the terrace beneath the squeal of swallows.

Balconies, the slanting sun, the stick of bread in one hand, cigarette hanging loosely in the other, sleeves rolled-up, stepping from the street into the café’s shade.

It’s the minutes and the hours.

It’s time.

Slowly, surely, repeated many times, it’s making sense.

Certificate U
Poem
Mortality Games
Miscellaneous

Comments

Submitted by bosch on

perhaps "Slowly, surely repeated. It's making sense." yes, "stepping from the street into the cafe's shade." conversation, good conversation, like sex when it's interactive, heightening, starting, and sharing a fire.

Submitted by Hydra on

I agree with the sentiment. Very much akin to one of my favourite poems (Orkney / This Life by Andrew Greig).

I do like it but I'm not sure about the structure. The prose is really good but there's something about the line length that makes me feel it's unfinished. That however, is a personal thing on my part and not a criticism that would stand up to scrutiny. 

Submitted by Parson Thru on

Thanks scorpio. It was just sitting sketching at the café over breakfast. My jaw was a little less tense after. Maybe I'll have another look sometime.

Parson Thru

Submitted by Hydra on

In that case, it's a perfect notebook entry. I thought you were posting as a finished article. I really hope you get a poem/prose piece out of it because it looks like a rich vein to be mined.

Submitted by Parson Thru on

Thanks. Some day. Take care.

Parson Thru

Submitted by Di_Hard on

I like this too, but had to read it a few times to realise what you were saying. Found myself putting in line breaks? I do like the idea behind it and all the descriptions very much?

Feel you are gathering lots of whisps of thought with recent poems, to make something more solid

 

Submitted by Parson Thru on

Maybe, Di_Hard. Thanks. I really do value your thoughts and those of others who comment. It's still a great site. I'm going to post something tomorrow that I've been editing and agonising over for a week or two. Let's see if it's any better than the spontaneous stuff. Thank you.

Parson Thru