It feels like winter here

Cherry

By Jane Hyphen

Wed, 16 Oct 2019
  • 1580 reads
8 comments
 

 

It feels like winter here 

The bone frames of you and me

Clutching our own hands

Blue flesh scars exposed as 

Frost forms on each word 

Light casts us in grey shades

Cold stabbing like blades 

Bruises black on goose flesh

No tears may form here

Chill stings dry our eyes

Bleak enough to freeze deep fire

Interred flames of spent desires

Nothing can live here now

Biting air will whittle us raw

Every move on thin ice

And shards in every cell

Slice each move we make

We fall apart, walk alone

To seek our own thaw

 

Certificate U
Poem

Comments

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

You always have a way with words, Jane. But I would long to bring some Spring into these lives not just 'enjoy' their described tense and fragile cold. It seems like where existentialism leads, but we weren't made for that and need that 'God-shaped hole' filled with a willingness to reach out for grace to give some warmth deep down even in the bleakness of a present harshness. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Hi Rhiannon, thanks for your feedback. I suppose it's part of what makes us human to be taken to the edge of the hole and sometimes we're just left hanging there for a while. Spring usually returns in one form or another but I just didn't include it here. 

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

bleak and strong. I like how there is no blame, what has happened is compared to weather, it just happens. And I like that the last word is "thaw"

Interred flames of spent desires

Nothing can live here now

although the poem is all about cold the rhythm didn't seem cold to me, but strong like a heart beat which won't give up

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Thanks Di_Hard. I tried to capture that feeling when a relationship becomes so cold that good can no longer come from it. Like you say, a strong heart never gives up and warmth can be found within ourselves and other people, even strangers.

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Thanks for the cherries x

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

You've really captured the essence of a dead relationship here - some wonderful imagery. I emailed you the other day - did you get it?

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Hi thanks Insert. I will check my old email address. I've been ill in bed since the weekend and not firing on all or indeed any cylinders.

 

Submitted by celticman on

we all fall apart, it just happens more in winter.