layers

Gold cherry

By Di_Hard

Thu, 14 Nov 2019
  • 3305 reads
17 comments
 

 

Day's doorway closes, people rush along

pavements, time cut short as thoughts before sleep ;

a car slams shut, cocoons a growing warmth

whose wings steam the drive through darkening glass.

Two walk by with bargains, one big, one small,

sweets for peace and loo rolls at half price.

A sprightly one steps from the card shop, bag

new-smooth paper stiff-cornered, holds a wish

of delight given, while an old one waits

for the scraggy pal on a lead to sniff

a planter put to gather Best In Bloom

head turned politely as bouquet's added.

 

Streetlights seep flattening white, blind

us to ink-light of dream-harbouring sky

where as if at God's baton tip, starlings

meet, surge, melt, crescendo wild shapes of joy 

 

while politicians far away make plans

in which neither starlings nor we survive

Certificate U
Poem

Comments

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

so much in this short piece Di - I love the painterly layers building up one after another - and then those final two lines took me by surprise

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

Thankyou :0) And thankyou for the cherries too. I hope the last two lines fit, I wasn't sure if it was too unrelated

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

Well - the last two lines really jar - but in a very good way. Please keep them in!

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

Thankyou so much for Pick of the Week! And for finding the photo, with exactly the right sort of light!

 

Submitted by drew_gummerson on

I agree. Like the movement between the images and also the final two lines. 
 

A couple of things. I can't see how a 'car slams shut'. 'a car door slams, shut, cocoons...'

 

What's 'bouguet'? Do you mean bouquet? 

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

Thankyou so much for your detailed and helpful comment Drew. It was meant to be a q. I can't think why I put g, except my cat was sitting on the keyboard and I might have been saying ggggggrrrr in my head. The car bit am not sure about as had door in the first line? Also the thought of a car being a sort of egg taking us out of the world and then we hatch out in a different place? I will think about the door bit some more, thankyou so much for your input

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Surveying the scene with the different 'layers' seen and commented on, and including your lovely evening murmurations gives a feeling of the complexity of ordinary life around us.

Politicians have a difficult task in knowing what to choose and suggest but are not necessarily ignoring or being just self-interest seeking. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

Thankyou Rhiannon :0) That's exactly what I meant it to be about. I know most politicians are good people, it's just I am so worried they are not wanting to do enough about climate change because it will be expensive and unpopular. But as adults have to persuade children to do stuff they don't want to, like cleaning teeth or homework, politicians need to make hard choices to protect the Earth, which means us? It's not their fault they don't want to, I hate nagging my son!

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

You've made the day to day images of real life into a great poem here Di.

I especially like:- sweets for peace and loo rolls at half price. Gave me a smile as I'm doing my weekly shopping today. 

Thank you for sharing.

Jenny.

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

That means an aweful lot Jenny, thankyou! Whenever I try writing about people I think of your poems, will always remember Swindon, My Home Towntgggggggggggggyyyyyyyyyyyyy that is Tina on the keyboard purring away :0)

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Hello Di, I much enjoyed your multilayered poem full of real-life images with which we all can relate. 
The reference to toilet rolls made me smile as it brought to mind my latest purchase, a jumbo pack of 18 rolls at basement prices from a Bargain Shop.
As far as politicians are concerned, I am a bit more optimistic than you and don't think that they are all out to destroy nature and us.

Luigi x

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

Thankyou very much Luigi for taking the time to read and leave your kind comment! We have just got a new bargain shop here, and it has huge packets of loo roll too :0)

I don't think politicians are aiming to destroy nature (though did hear something very scary about "black sky thinking" on the radio)  I just worry that they are faffing about economic growth and still investing in fossil fuels and weapons factories. If suddenly it is a sensible thing to borrow billions of £s, surely spending it on renewable energy infrastructure would be better?

Sorry, I get ranting so quickly!

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

This is our Facebook and Twitter Pick of the Day!

Please share/retweet if you enjoyed it as much as I did

Picture Credit: https://tinyurl.com/yed76s6b

 

Submitted by onemorething on

Love how this moves from the everyday to magical to devastating. :)

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

Thankyou for your kind comment :0) Off to see if you have written another of your great poems!

 

Submitted by Parson Thru on

"Streetlights seep flattening white, blind

us to ink-light of dream-harbouring sky

where as if at God's baton tip, starlings

meet, surge, melt, crescendo wild shapes of joy"

Beautiful.

And the turn in those final lines.

Lovely piece, Di.

 

Parson Thru

Submitted by Di_Hard on

 Thankyou so much Parson :0) I am glad you said about the last bit