More Thoughts About Biscuits and History! (An Aid To The History and Geography of Europe (and particularly Scotland and France)) by Mr Alfred N.Muggins
By David Kirtley
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The Jacobites would actually have been a great name for some biscuits, perhaps made with oats as an ingredient, and placed in tins of packaging with forbidden tartans all over them. I am sure that biscuit would have sold well, all around the British Empire, or Commonwealth as it became, and beyond, once the English had largely forgotten what the Battle of Culloden was all about (Not to be confused with Jacob’s Cream Crackers, which I am not aware of being involved with Scotland?) I am surprised no enterprising Scots had that idea before!
PS (In which Muggins turns his attention to French History, in the form of biscuits)
And also may I note that the Jacobite biscuits (perfectly named, even with the word ‘bite’ in it) should not be confused with another great idea for a biscuit, which would have been the Jacobin biscuits of France, named after the extremist revolutionary, but pro capitalist, party of the French Revolution, who engineered the deaths of many opponents, and even rather a lot of their own ranks in the end with their heavy handed use of the guillotine for chopping people’s heads off. They even managed to far exceed old King Henry VIII’s tally of state sanctioned victims!
The Jacobin biscuit could not have been a chocolate biscuit however! The Bourbon monarchs of France had already come up with the chocolate Bourbon biscuits!
Maybe the Jacobin biscuits should have contained some fruit of a red colour, to denote the bloodiness of the Revolution, but would it have sold? He would have to think about that later.
PS. The Girondins, the Jacobin’s defeated more moderate Revolutionary opposing faction, would also have been a great name for a biscuit!, but the marketing might have been a bit difficult, because not many people actually remember them any more, because they lost!
Mr Muggins’ Favourite Biscuit Selection
A mixed selection of Bourbons, Jacobins and Girondins from France, with Garibaldis from Italy, and Jacobites and Scottish Shortbread biscuits from Scotland. England would provide the Ginger Snaps, Custard Creams, and Nice biscuits, and perhaps a few Jacob’s Cream Crackers, just to finish off, with a bit of cheese, or even a few digestives.
It occurred to Alfred that you could virtually teach history very effectively with a good supply of biscuits, maybe a few Belgian and Swiss chocolates thrown in, possibly some German Black Forest Gateaux and a dash of Italian Ice Cream, or at least Geography!
He wondered idly which country waffles came from? As Marie Antoinette is reputed to have said of the poor peasants, before she lost her head, “Let Them Eat Cake!” It is interesting that she was, even then, not willing to share the Bourbon biscuits with the common people!
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Teaching history via a
Teaching history via a selection of biscuits. This could catch on..
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