Wintered Thin

Gold cherry
Poem of the week

By onemorething

Wed, 27 Oct 2021
  • 4792 reads
20 comments
 

Poem four of four dark poems for October. 
 

At first, it was the fog

that grew upon us

as a shroud so gently

that it was unremarked.

Not a gāst, but still worse,

formed in the mere, 

snapped at the heels 

of children, found us 

in our beds. The water

coursed to flōd, surged 

over stones until they sang

of her, and her vengeance - 

the way it hammers out

a monster like a blacksmith

in his forge, and here, at last,

we felt

the teeth of history, ea to brim, 

when the salmon leaps run,

and the night bird cries fly,

we wintered thin,

blood thickened,

frightened of ourselves. 
 

(In Old English: gāst - spirit, flōd - flood, ea - river, brim - sea)

Image is from here: https://tinyurl.com/xvs6r7s5 It's a nøkken or nicor in Old English. 

Certificate 12
Poem
Inspiration Point (work that responds to our weekly writing cue)

Comments

Submitted by lenchenelf on

You've taken a theme explored by many horror/fantasy tale tellers and given it a superb new twist

Timeless allegorical warning. Cracking read.

Best

Lena xx

 

Submitted by onemorething on

Thanks so much Lena, have really enjoyed my dark October poeming. So glad you liked it. x

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

Echoing everything said above - I've so enjoyed ths sideways approach to a well (and usually over) worn subject - thank you onemore

 

Submitted by onemorething on

Thanks insert, am very happy you've enjoyed them. I've enjoyed writing to my own mini theme for a month.

 

Submitted by marandina on

Love some of the words used - "gast" and "flod" A super poem, of course

 

Submitted by onemorething on

Thanks Paul, am glad you liked it. Old English is magically evocative for some of the feeling that I want to convey. And fascinating too. :)

 

Submitted by celticman on

the covering of fog and incipient horror blend into poetry. 

 

Submitted by onemorething on

Yes, fog is a useful ingredient for fear. Thanks for reading it CM.

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

"teeth of history" that's great, just brilliant! 

a shroud growing gently is suffocating, the unease

"frightened of ourselves" this is all so powerful, the coldness and wet.

You make a horrible feeling of never being able to feel safe and warm again because the fog and fear is inside.

Terrible genius poem, unforgettable

 

Submitted by onemorething on

Ah, Di, thank you! That's very kind. I had considered going down the vampire route, but then remembered that I had mentioned revenants already and my bat poem last year had hints of fangs so I ended up here. I was up on the Fairfield Horsehoe walking once and a mist descended so imperceptibly that it was shocking to find your yourself suddenly walking almost blind. Anyway, perfect for conjuring unease. Thank you for reading it and your lovely comment. :)

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

This beautiful piece is our Facebook and Twitter Pick of the Day

Please share/retweet if you enjoyed it as much as I did

 

Submitted by onemorething on

Thanks so much insert! Am really happy it was enjoyed. Written during a spat of insomnia last night so maybe the witching hour helped write it! 

 

Submitted by airyfairy on

This wonderful conclusion to the 'dark poems' quartet is our Poem of the Week. Congratulations! 

Submitted by onemorething on

Thanks so much! That's really lovely. Pina colada in a tin for me tonight then... :)

 

Submitted by drew_gummerson on

Excellent! Well deserving of all the praise. 

 

Submitted by onemorething on

Thanks Drew! :)

 

Submitted by Richard L. Prov... on

This poem is evocative, full of shivers and reality. I enjoyed your phraseology as I bounced off each stanza which kept coming Closer and Closer...

Richard L. Provencher

Submitted by onemorething on

Thanks very much Richard! I'm happy you liked it! :)

 

Submitted by bhi on

wonderful blend of old and new to create an original. 

 

Submitted by onemorething on

Thanks bhi! Glad you enjoyed it! :)