Maria and The Bellasis Family 24

 

 

 

When I was in Taunton for my nephew’s funeral, I was surprised to see that my step-mother Deborah had also come.  She said how much she missed having me in Exeter with her, and sharing her many charitable activities with me.  I asked if she went on her own now, and she replied that sometimes her brother’s daughter came with her, but it was much nicer having someone of her own age to discuss things with.

 

I told her I was happy where I was, but that I would keep an open mind about possibly coming back for a period anyway. 

 

Mother Francis has told me that she and the new Mother Superior of their convent are not really friends.  They have very differing opinions on many things to do with the order.  I think Mother Francis was being up as a future head of the convent (they have 5 year terms now) and she doesn't want that. She actually went to the Bishop to intervene for her and to keep her from having a position of increased importance. This did not make her popular. So her move is not a promotion but a demotion as she will be just a teacher when she leaves us.

 

She  has just announced to the group that she will be leaving us.  She is first being sent by the order  to Rome along with Sister Rita Bethell to negotiate the approbation of the Rule for the convent. There have been many trips to Rome for this purpose, and all ended up in failure.   I don’t know who will be put in charge of this branch of the group, but hopefully it will be someone who does the job as well as she has. I shall certainly miss her.

 

There are also plans afoot to leave these premises completely, and find somewhere larger in London.  At the moment we are packed to the gills.  I am beginning to wonder if they will ask us annuitants to leave so they can use our rooms for nuns.  I suppose they could put four nuns into my room.  I feel this is my home now.  I wouldn’t want to live with either John Charles  who is not very well, or Lewin who has such a large family already.  And Edith and iIwould never get along for any great period of time. She has no sense of religion, which I would not want to give up.  My brother Edgar has been having mental issues for some time. He went to a private hospital in Norfolk for a while, and then he will come back for a month or two and stay with his wife at their vast property in St.  George’s square, until he has another  breakdown and goes off somewhere else.  So they would not welcome me to be living with them.   And Frederick is very happy on his own.

 

My stepmother’s the only place I could go. She still lives in the house she and father lived at Claremont in Exeter and says I would be welcome anytime. But also with her, I don’t know whether she would expect me to go with her on all her missions and groups that she supports.  I am too old for that sort of activity. Actually writing that makes me laugh, as I am actually two years younger than she is, but have never had her level of energy or wish to be involved in huge causes.  She is coming to London later this year to visit the University  to discuss their outreach departments. I will make sure we meet, and I can put my worries to her.  I will know more by then.  ‘

 

Another death to deal with. This time it is Mrs. William Bellasis - who I met when I was visiting with Lewin and his family. She was of course the sister in law of Mother Francis, and also Kattie, but when we met, she told me that we were second cousins as well.  She was only 40, and leaves two children, who are named Mary and Monica Bellasis - the same names as their nun-aunts.  I didn’t go to the funeral but read about in the paper.

  

 

It is now later and Mother Francis is back from Rome.  She will be settled in the Sussex branch which was the original mother house from now on. She wrote to me that they think they had success in their meetings, but she had to do all of the work and Sister Rita did virtually nothing. She says she feels a change in the Head’s attitude towards her, since they returned, and she doesn’t know why, but thinks it might be because of something Rita reported to the head. She asked Rita if she knew why and was told - Nothing.  

 

Another big funeral, and again I couldn’t have gone if I had been invited - as it was a very large affair. Cardinal John Newman has died.  I have read so many of his sermons and sung his songs that I feel like I knew him.  I will add my favourites of his writing.

 

The Mission of My Life

God has created me

To do Him some definite service.

He has committed some work to me

which He has not committed to another.

I have my mission.

I may never know what it is in this life.

But I shall be told in the next.

I am a link in a chain,

a bond of connection between persons.

He has not created me for nothing.

I shall do good, I shall do His work.

Therefore, I will trust Him.

Whatever, wherever I am, I cannot be

thrown away.

If I am in sickness, my sickness may

serve Him

If I am in sorrow, my sorrow may

serve Him

He does nothing in vain, He knows

what He is about.

He may take away my friends. He

may throw me among strangers,

He may make me feel desolate, make

my spirits sink.

Hide my future from me—

still He knows what He is about.