Chemo 8

Gold cherry

By jeand

Tue, 06 Sep 2022
  • 2247 reads
26 comments
 

 

 

You know I sometimes think I have special powers.  Somebody once said to me, “You get everything you want,” and I suppose that it Is often true.

 

Not an hour ago, I wrote, “I sometimes wish something would go really wrong, so that I would have more interesting things to write about.” I didn’t mean something awful, and nothing awful did happen.  But something did happen and it has got me writing.

 

Yesterday I had the good news that my breast cancer is a tiny bit smaller. I was not expecting that.  And I don’t mean to belittle the good news, but now that I have written it, there isn’t much more to say. Nothing will change in my treatment because of it. But it might just show my oncologist that the lower dose did do some good, so he might be happy for me to stay there forever.  I see him in two days time. 

 

The awful thing that happened was that when I had finished watching my tv programme and put the lounge chair into the full reclining position for a nap,  I felt an itching in the stoma area.  This is a new thing.  I put my hand on my stoma bag, which an hour before had been OK, and it did feel a bit big.  And BANG,  I had a blowout. The glue that sticks it to my skin had been pulled away by the pressure. I thought “I’d better get to the bathroom soon,” but it was too late. Luckily I had been lying on my back, so the chair and carpet didn’t get messed on, but I needed a complete change of clothes.  And when I put the replacement bag on, for some reason it wouldn’t stick either, so I had to change it again a few minutes later. 

 

I think the itching was Effie telling me to get a move on - and next time I will listen to her.

 

I went to church on Sunday, where I play the organ.  I saw Ruth, who hadn’t been in church for many months, so I wanted to say to her what a pretty skirt she was wearing and how slim and lovely she looked. I know, I shouldn’t have been thinking of things like that in church.  So we chatted, and she never asked me how I was.  Most people do, these days - the postman, the food delivery people, the neighbours, the hospital people, etc.  and the people in church.  And I wanted to say, “I have cancer. In fact I have two kinds of cancer and a stoma, so why aren’t you asking me how I am?”

 

Maybe she didn’t know.  Maybe she thought I looked OK and didn’t like to bring it up.  I wondered about my obsession with my problems.  Maybe I should get a sweatshirt with the slogan on the back, CANCER VICTIM, PLEASE PITY ME.  But I don’t want pity really. I am finding the whole thing rather interesting - and certainly I have had more cards and visits and flowers in the six months  than in the last 10 years. I also thought that since I am enjoying the attention I am getting maybe my sweatshirt should read, CANCER IS REALLY INTERESTING. GIVE IT A TRY.

 

 

 

Certificate U
Biography
Autobiography

Comments

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Hi Jean,

you know your writing isn't boring at all. I love it when you delve into history, it also intrigues me with all the information you manage to secure.

I'm pleased for you that your cancer is not getting any worse. You are going through a lot with Effie, hope life gets easier for you from now on.

Don't stop writing, it's so important to keep your mind busy on other things...though I'm sure it's hard, and I don't really have any idea what you're going through. But I'm thinking of you and will continue to read any of your writing, whatever it may be.

Take care.

Jenny. 

 

Submitted by jeand on

Thanks very much for that, Jenny.  I must get back to my historical writing again. I've done about 5 chapters and then just stopped.  

I really do like to write, which is why I hope for something worth writing about. 

Jean Day

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Hi, Jean. Writing about crises with Effie, probably helps others to see how one has to 'get on with it' with any awkward, embarrassing, messy, nuisance, unexpected things, not just panic, scream, or wallow in self-pity. And so often, such things get sorted out better than expected and can become interesting and funny, and a source of conversation as you have proved! So, good that you can share so much, clearly, readably! And of course, reach out for 'grace to help' in unexpected situations.

Maybe Ruth didn't know what to say, or thought you might be sick of explaining how you are. I remember reading a young lady saying (she was largely paralysed after a diving accident) that she often realised that things that were really small problems compared to hers, seemed temporarily to be immense to some who visited her. And I realised how often that is so, little problems can seem so immense and others with bigger problems can help to comfort or get things into perspective or guide to faith and prayer.

love, Rhiannon

 

Submitted by jeand on

Thanks very much Rhiannon. How true it is that one can always find somebody - lots of somebodies who are worse off than you.  Ruth and her husband used to be in the choir. Her husband had a good voice but liked to sing very loud - drowning out everyone else.  The choir leader never said anything, but one morning the priest said, from the alter - "Someone is ruining the singing. Please stop."  And he hasn't been to church since. We don't have a choir anymore but about 5 people who were in it sit downstairs and sing their best. Only 17 people in church on Sunday. We used to get 100 when I first started going there. I think they got out of the habit when churches were closed for covid, or found other churches they preferred. 

Jean Day

Submitted by TJW on

little jeannie,

Get that shirt, darlin', had a trooper who went gone for a while, restricted to quarters at the FOB, came back.  What was the problem, man?  Cancer.  Shit.  What're you doing here? War won't kill cancer.  No, but it might kill you.  So might cancer.  Fair enough.  You're taking point.  Hoo-ah.  Stay warm, honey.

Jack

 

Submitted by jeand on

Thanks Jack

I always like to hear about your soldier friends. How are the snakes doing?

Jean Day

Submitted by TJW on

Snakes are fine.  Eating less than they used to but they're old.  Took the boa outside yesterday.  She hung out with me while I read.  Or tried to; she kept coming up for a kiss and I ended ready the same paragraph endlessly. Here's one for you X.

Jack 

 

Submitted by jeand on

Thank you. Was that a second hand snake kiss?  I'll send one backX

Jean Day

Submitted by TJW on

I'll pass it on to her tonight. 

Jack

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

These pieces of yours are WONDERFUL  to read Jean. I agree with Rhiannon about the lady in Church, thinking perhaps you wouldn't want to discuss it when you were doing an important job playing the organ. I didn't know you did that, you are really amazing!

That T shirt message is a brilliant idea. I have never heard of anyone who has such a positive attitude as you. That saying if life gives you lemons make lemonade, you would go way further, plant an orchard, pick the fruit, make lemonade, sell it, start a business, go global...

 

Am so glad your breast cancer is shrinking! What a great result! 

 

Submitted by jeand on

Thanks Di for your very kind comments.

The breast surgeon who saw me drew a picture of how he thought the cancer looked now, on my breast, and the doctor doing the scan could get an idea of where to look. I measured the drawing and it is much larger than the original one, and oval rather than round.  So I was pleased to hear that the actual size was smaller than the drawn one. 

Jean Day

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

You get some great comments Jean - I'm also very pleased to hear the chemo seems to have shrunk the breast cancer - and most definitely get that sweatshirt! Congratulations on the cherry too! 

 

Submitted by jeand on

Thanks Insert

It'snice to get some positive feedback from the chemo and/or hormone blocking drug. I think they were surprised too - as originally they told me that it was unlikely the hormone pill would do more than halt the cancer, and nobody was sure whether the chemo, which is specifically for colon cancer would do any good at all.

Jean Day

Submitted by jeand on

thanks very much editors for the very pretty cherries.

Jean Day

Submitted by Starfish Girl on

Hi Jean

Your descriptions of what is happening to you are always 'so human'. By that I mean you show pleasure at small things, humour at large things and a great interest in what is happening to you with a desire to share and also, if you can, to help others.

Keep going Jean

Lindyx

Submitted by jeand on

HI Lindy

 

What a nice thing to say.  Thank you for that.  I've had a good day today but have the doctor and the chemo tomorrow to look forward to. but I am 1/3 through chemo, so that sounds like a good milestone.

Jean Day

Submitted by marandina on

I am not so sure that cancer is that interesting in a good way but your written accounts are always well put together and make for a fascinating read. Incredibly useful for anyone going through something similar. Take care of yourself. Paul x 

 

Submitted by jeand on

Thanks Paul

It was a very silly thing to say. I certainly wouldn't have opted to have cancer, but having it, isn't as awful as I thought it would be.  I know it will get worse probably before I die from it. 

Jean Day

Submitted by airyfairy on

I think people often do freeze and don't know what to say when faced with something frightening - not that you're frightening, I mean the cancer! I think your sweatshirt should read, 'I'm awesome.'

So glad to hear you've had some good news as well! 

Submitted by jeand on

Thanks Airy

I'm no awesome, but nice of you to say that.  I even exaggerated how bad the extra dose was to the oncologist yesterday.  I made it sound like I spent the whole week in bed, which wasn't true at all. but it did its job,and he has agreed that I don't have to have an increase again.  My daughter was with me, and she asked him if it would make a big difference in the efficacy of the drug.  He sort of said that having it was better than not having it, but there was no evidence as to wheher the size dose mattered all that much.

Jean Day

Submitted by airyfairy on

This latest funny, brave and all round wonderful post from Jean is our Facebook and Twitter Pick of the Day! Please do share/retweet - it deserves a wide audience.

Picture copyright free from Pixabay.

Submitted by jeand on

How kind, thank you very much. I am fond of the colour gold. the room I am sitting in has gold curtain on all four windows. 

Jean Day

Submitted by celticman on

I'll give it a miss, trying cancer for now. But never say never, or some other cliche. 

 

Submitted by jeand on

thanks Jack

I realise it was a stupid thing to say. Nobody wants to try cancer, but having it forced upon me I find that at least so far, it is far less bad than I had imagined it would be.  But having seen my sister and husband die after very bad experiences, I know that I am very lucky.

Jean Day

Submitted by drew_gummerson on

Jean. Excellent piece of writing. 

 

Submitted by jeand on

Thanks Drew. 

 

I missed this before.

Jean Day