A Blank Diary

I'm told there'll be
a public enquiry
and I am so glad
I haven't kept a diary.

It would reveal all
the transgressions
I conveniently forgot
in my confessions.

Not a quick grope
behind the school shed
or trying to tempt
a girl into my bed.

That was  the start,
the occasion not unique;
in my adulthood,
I refined my technique.

I am talking about
the fact I am a toad
and repeatedly breach
the ministerial code.

Throughout debates
and during recess too
I watch pornography
on the phone: it's true.

Female members' legs
are a fatal attraction;
leering at them
gives me satisfaction.

Sometimes a male M.P.
Is heard to bellow
as I touch the posterior
of my honourable fellow.

I inflate the amount
of expenses claimed
and never, at any time,
I feel ashamed.

About my activities
I don't wish to be frank;
that's the reason why
my journal is blank.

© Luigi Pagano 2023