Coyote Law Suit Drags

Coyote Law Suit Drags Through Courts

Wile E. Coyote today announced that his product liability lawsuit
against the Acme Company would soon enter its third decade. Mr. Coyote,
the television personality best known as the long-suffering rival of
Road Runner, was speaking today with reporters in his room in the
Arizona State Homeless Shelter at Cactus Prick Point.

Mr. Coyote alleges in his lawsuit that he has been permanently disabled
and prevented from working as the direct result of injuries sustained
while using Acme Company products in a manner consistent with their
intended use and in observance of all prudent safety precautions.

When asked to explain the excessive duration of this lawsuit, Mr.
Coyote said: "I really don't know. I guess the wheels of justice turn
slowly in the wind." Mr. Runner, a co-defendant in the suit, stuck to
his position of nearly thirty years, stating simply: "Beep Beep."

Acme Company issued a press release through its long-time spokesman
Sylvester Cat, who reiterated the company's position by stating
"Sufferin' succotash! Enough already!"

Yosemite Sam, lead attorney for Mr. Coyote, continued to assert his
client's right to full compensation. "We'll never give up!" he
bellowed. "Those rascals at Acme are gonna pay through the nose for
what they've done to poor Wile. Taaarnation, It just ain't fair!"

Judge Elmer Fudd declined comment, stating that he was not allowed to
discuss existing litigation.

Alaine Dishowhatzis, famed law professor and talking hairdo, commented
that Mr. Coyote should consider filing a "species discrimination"
lawsuit against everyone in sight. "Clearly this is a case of
species-ism. Had Mr. Coyote been a rabbit, he would have been awarded
full compensation decades ago."