Free

By Beeme

Sat, 06 Nov 2010
  • 2980 reads
15 comments
 

In the weakness of surrender the veins lecture
praying that its not too late.
Beneath my surface the oceans mourn and
break hard against my flesh.
Is it ink that spills and winds within my
blood? Integrated within my life.

Wasn't it you who goaded my response?
an army of letters assembling on my page,
pencil sharpened to a point- the white surrender
of paper being tarnished at the order of your ridicule.

And didn't I say that one day you'd be sorry.
The same way my poems huddled in the corner
of my bedroom, trying desperately not to disturb
long forgotten demons.

Until all that was left behind- a poetic cemetery.
My notebooks covered with the remnants of our
cherished memories, stained with the heartache you
thoughtfully left behind- as a rough draft.
Knowing that I would free your remorse at the tip of my pen.

Certificate U
Love

Comments

Submitted by celticman on
seems fine to me, but I'm not expert. What I do know is you're being too hard on yourself. Enjoy writing. That's it. No great secret.

 

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
'The same way my poems huddled in the corner of my bedroom, trying desperately not to disturb long forgotten demons. Until all that was left behind- a poetic cemetery.' - these lines are absolutely WONDERFUL, Beeme! So don't you go thinking anything bad about your writing. Confidence is key - don't be afraid to think 'I quite like what I've written'. You've just got to find a balance between confidence and cockiness. People on here love your writing and come back to it again and again - just remember that ;) You're a poet, and no one can take that away from you! Magic xxx

 

Submitted by Nolan on
Hello Beeme! How are you?
 

Submitted by Nolan on
Sorry man I didn’t forget to comment on the poem honestly it’s embarrassing. Cheers keep well!
 

Submitted by Beeme on
Thanks very much Celticman, I agree. I don't know whats going on with my writing lately. I seem to have lost my confidence, hopefully I can regain it again soon. Beeme xx

k.

Submitted by Beeme on
Thank you Jacques, I agree wholeheartedly. I certainly always used to enjoy my writing,I hope its just a phase I am going through. Beeme xx

k.

Submitted by Beeme on
Thank you so much Magic! I'm glad you enjoyed this and thinking about all of the people like you who constantly read and enjoy my work is very comforting. I need to remind myself that I am a poet and stop being so hard on myself. I'm going to make it my mission to enjoy writing again without worrying about how it might be recieved :D Beeme xx

k.

Submitted by Beeme on
Ha ha, hello Nolan, I'm all over the place at the moment. Keep well yourself! Beeme xx

k.

Submitted by shoe on
Beeme, your writing is often intense, sometimes hard to get, buy never boring, Your poems always move me, sometimes to tears, remember warrior princess? :} When I first came to ABC, I read all of your work and thought if I can be half as good I will be happy. The first two stanzas are good, the second two are brilliant, (in my opinion!) but even if they weren't, it wouldn't matter, it would just be you stretching your wings, experimenting, you don't have to be brilliant all the time, (although you often are). Magic is right, you are a poet, simple. please don't give yourself a hard time, writing evolves, enjoy where you are now. Sorry for such a long comment.

 

Submitted by Beeme on
Thank you for such a thoughtful comment Shoe! yes I remember warrior princess, I'm so happy that my poetry made you feel that way. I more than appreciate your support and encouragement and Magic's. Everybody who reads my work, have really helped me progress. I hope this is just a phase I'm going through and hopefully soon I'll get back into the swing of things. Please don't apologise for a long comment, its' really made me feel so much better! Beeme xx

k.

Submitted by fatboy74 on
I completely agree with shoe, the first two are good the last two are wonderful, I hope if i'm ever struggling that I can come up with something half as good as this - really enjoyed well done. :-)

 

Submitted by Beeme on
Thanks so very much Fatboy74! I really appreicate your lovely comment, I'm very happy you enjoyed. Beeme xx

k.

Submitted by Nolan on
Yes me too. I’m very glad everybody enjoys this stuff so much.
 

Submitted by Kahdai on
Ah and the end two parts are wonderful, thanks beeme :) o and iil email you wehn i got butterflies online xx K

"I will make sense with a few reads \^^/ "

Submitted by Cavalcader on
new Beeme Hello! I liked this poem very much, and always look to see your different ways, writing it good. Yep I too had mental block, then loads good and bad happened here. All OK now. No two people are the same in poems exspressing oneself. I have missed so much other's on here, definitely keeps mind and ideas going. I know now. Quite often mine don't always make the right sense. But when I read it back, I think wow! did I do that? keep good work up. all he best my little ray of sunshine. Julie xx