l must be thick as a tree stump ..

Well .. l think l've bin dumpt.

I had this anxiety thing in my guts. Adrenaline-like. Pumping around, the way it does. You should always trust your emotional barometer swingin' about in your soul.

I'm wondering if l have a longing to be in love, or loved, and so l believe all the guff n stuff they sing at you to get yer heart to open up. Do you think? But he was smitten, bowled over, full of it. I have the messages to prove it. AND. Who sends cards, roses, if they don't like you?

As he lives bit away from me, has a long-day job, and his children are at his house for the weekend, he kind of said he had no time to come down to see me until after the New Year. I had been popping up North to see him. Which was very exciting. We got on incredibly well in every way, had a great laugh, good chat, but he has 2 children and a sick ex-wife! I guess they are a unit, and l am a complete stranger, who would walk into their lives.

I got the feeling things were a bit lop-sided after l came home during the week from seeing him. He was amazing to be around, and l thoughvt we were moving closer and forwards together? However, when l sent a txt, or rang the phone, he didn't reply or pick up. Strange, that. Now. If one of my friends told me that lot, l would hear a load of bells ringin'. 'Look out!'.

His teenage kids stay at weekends. Their mum, his ex has cancer.

Then there's his job.

Soooo .. he has no time to see me now

I was on cloud 9 a month ago. I loved his personality, body and mind. Now l have to tell folk we ain't an item no more.

I feel really sick. Sweet talkin' guy, leave me be, eh?

Good night xx