Times Like These II

Currently Listening to: The killers' "Mr. Brightside'
Currently Craving: my bed, return to yesterday, Lucille's pancales with Maple Syrup (mmmmm), Ali (where are you??)

Went up on friday night for nancy's birthday party at the Jazz Club (Woohoo nance!), danced all night, actually danced so hard i tore the strap off my baby doll top ("i dig your top,"says random bald guy, "big turn on for us guys." ok then, take note)
tried to fight off two weirdos, one of them boyfriend of a girl i knew from college, the other some philosophy grad whos had a leeettle too much to drink and smoke- neither of them attractive but hey- whats a girl to do? it was either humor them or stand alone in a corner waiting impatiently for mariam to finish making out so we could go home. Home actually didnt happen until seven thirty am after a random house party with 99% strangers, freaks included and some classic conversations.

Classic Conversation #1:
Nancy's friend talks to her about me.
friend: is Gingeresque single?
nancy: yes
friend: is she horny?
nancy: what?
friend: Does she want to have sex?
nancy: WHAT?

seriously, some people take all the fun out of subtle flirting.
my answer was naturally no to all the above. if he was faintly good loking i would have reconsidered.

classic conversation #2:
freak number one (the boyfriend) tries to come onto me at house party.
me: can i have some of your water ?
(take gulp give back- he takes sip of water and tastes my lipgloss on the rim)
him: Mmmmmm, i can taste your lipgloss
me: ok
him: it's niiiiiiiiiiiice
me: um thank you
him: what iiiiis it? let me guess it's a berry, right? raspberry? strawberry? blueberry? blackberry-
me: it's lychee

-pause-

him: Oooh i like lychheeeee! now ive got lycheee on my miiind!
me: (cringing slightly) good for you!
him: Mmm-MMmm i can't get that lychee out of my head! i am intoxicated by your lycheee! can i have some of your lip gloss?
me: (knowing where this will go since i've read "50worst chat up lines ever" and experienced most of them)
um, sure- (i reach for my bag)
him: No i want it straight from you
me: Well you can have it straight from the tube
(i hand him the tube)
him: no you put it on for me
me: (images of queer eye for the straight guy in head) um no sorry i dont do makeup for guys
him: oh well i dont want it then

end

Conversation #3:
freak number 2(mr philosophy) sets himself next to me as i lie on the couch trying hard not to fall asleep, while he tries to hold my hand and kiss me and I babble incoherently (it was seven am for crying out loud) and play with his leather hand cuff bracelet thing.
Me: nice bracelet
He: you think?
Me: wait, whats written on it? Does it have writing on it?
Him: it can if you want it to
Me: what?
He: it's up to you- it can have writing if you want it to
Me: ok this is bullshit it doesn't have any writing on it
He: are you sure? Are you sure you're sure?
me: ........
(This is why I shouldn't go anywhere near philosophers)

Me: So how long do you think this party will last?
Him: not long- soon it will come to an end- but some things are eternal, they last forever

Me: Errrrr