Judith and Jake - Part Two of Two

Cherry

By hudsonmoon

Thu, 14 Nov 2013
  • 1764 reads
12 comments
 
 
Judith and Jake crossed the threshold into Mrs. Teaberry’s apartment.
 
“Watch your step,” said Mrs. Teaberry. “I just waxed the floor.”
 
The newlyweds sniffed the air and eyed every nook and cranny of the kitchen in search of the dreaded cats. They didn’t spot one.
 
“You’ll have to pardon my appearance,” said Mrs. Teaberry. “I was on my way to the roof when you buzzed.”
 
“In your underwear?” said Jake.
 
“I was planning on doing a little sun-bathing. My doctor told me I wasn’t getting enough vitamin D.”
 
“In November?” said Judith.
 
“No. He told me that last month, but I’ve been busy with the boids.”
 
”The boids?” said Judith.
 
”The boids,” said Mrs.Teaberry. ”On the roof.”
 
“Oh,” said Judith. 
 
“Where should I put the wine?” said Jake.
 
“Just put it on the kitchen table.”
 
“I can open a bottle,” said Judith. “I’ve got a cork screw on my key chain.”
 
“Who drinks wine at ten o’clock in the morning?” said Mrs. Teaberry. “It ain’t civilized. Just poke your nose in the fridge, dear, and grab us three cans of beer. There’s nothing more civilized then a long pull from a cold can of beer. Race you to the bottom!”
 
“The bottom?” said Judith.
 
Mrs. Teaberry cracked open her can, downed it in one long gulp and tossed the empty in the sink.
 
“I win,” said Mrs. Teaberry. “You two are slackers. Now drink up.”
 
“We’re not really beer drinkers,” said Jake. ”Wreaks havoc with my digestion.”
 
“Very high in calories,” said Judith. 
 
“Oh, for crying out loud," said Mrs. Teaberry. “At least give it a try. A toast to times gone by.”
 
The newlyweds opened their cans, took a sip each and made a face. Jake’s eyes started watering. Judith gagged.
 
“Pathetic,” said Mrs. Teaberry. “How you two ever made it out of diapers is beyond me. Now follow me to the roof while we still got some sun. I’ll introduce you to the boids. You don’t have a problem being in the sun, do you? How about boids? You don’t have to eat them, you know. All you have to do is look at them. No calories. No heartburn.”
 
II
 
The pigeon coop on the roof was painted orange. 
 
“The boids seem to like the color,” said Mrs. Teaberry. “I think it brightens their day. They’re really Harry’s boids, but I mostly take care of them.”
 
“Harry?” said Jake.
 
“Yeah, Harry,” said Mrs. Teaberry. “My beau. He lives with me now. He used to live in your old apartment across the hall. But we found ourselves kind of lonely, so we hooked up. Some say I robbed the cradle. What with Harry being only sixty and all. But I don’t pay any attention. Harry’s a postman, but he retires in a few months. Then we go to Florida and play in the sun till we’re good and dead.”
 
“Sounds like a grand plan,” said Jake.
 
“Don’t get snarky with me, young man,” said Mrs. Teaberry. “At least we got a plan. And each other. One man’s hell-hole is another man’s paradise.”
 
“Sorry,” said Jake.
 
“That’s all right,” said Mrs. Teaberry. “I’ll go let the boids loose. We’ll watch them play for a while. You know what I love about these boids? They always come back. They’re better than most people in some ways.”
 
“That’s because their homing pigeons,” said Judith.
 
“That’s because their homing pigeons,” cracked Mrs. Teaberry. “I know what they are, dear. Now just be still a while and admire their grace in the air. Goodness knows there’s not enough of it down here. Aren’t they lovely? Makes me want to grow wings. Maybe in the next life.”
 
After about thirty minutes of soaring and swooping, the pigeons were back in their coop for a rest.
 
“Now it’s time to feed the cats,” said Mrs. Teaberry.
 
“Cats?” said Jake. “I didn’t see any cats. I figured you got rid of them.”
 
“Oh, hell no,” said Mrs. Teaberry. “There was a bit of a problem, though, when I first met Harry. Harry’s allergic to cats. So we decided that the thing to do was for Harry to move in with me and the cat’s to move into Harry’s apartment.”
 
“You mean to tell me the cat’s have there own apartment?” said Judith.
 
“They may be the only cats in New York, or the world, that do,” said Mrs. Teabberry. 
 
III
 
When Mrs. Teaberry swung open the door to the cat’s apartment, the newlyweds let out with a gasp and fell back a few paces.
 
“Here," said Mrs. Teaberry. “Put on these muckers. It gets a little sloppy in there."
 
The old lady turned around to face the newlyweds, but they had all ready made their way to the street.
 
They just don’t make people like they used to, thought Mrs. Teaberry. Not by a long shot.
 
“Here, kitty, kitty,” said Mrs. Teaberry. “Here, kitty, kitty.”
 
 
 
 
 
 
Certificate U
Story
Humour

Comments

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

I envy Mrs Teaberry, her life sounds cool to me!

 

Submitted by hudsonmoon on

Thanks, Jane. I'll have to bring the old girl back.

Rich

 

Submitted by celticman on

Mrs Teaberry is a real treat. Her outlook in life is admirable. Apart from the boids and cats, of course. They're just rodents. Another great story.

 

Submitted by hudsonmoon on

Thanks, celtic. She's starting to grow on me. I'll have to do a little background story. Thanks again.

Cheers,

Rich

 

Submitted by scratch on

Damn fine read.  I'm such a dullard that I didn't know what "boids" were until you revealed the pigeons and then I did a big daft smile.

 

Submitted by hudsonmoon on

There was a guy in my neighborhood who was always feeding what he called, 'the boids' It always stuck in my head. Glad I got a chance to use it. Thanks, scratch.

Rich

 

Submitted by hudsonmoon on

Thanks an awful lot for the cherries, Eds.

Rich

 

Submitted by Denzella on

Keep Mrs Teaberry going she's a fun reaad and i sense a fun write.

mOya

 

Submitted by hudsonmoon on

Thanks, Moya. She is a fun write. I'm sure she'll be back.

Rich

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

An engaging, enchanting read, Rich;-)  Very much enjoyed.

Tina

 

Submitted by hudsonmoon on

Thank you, Tina. Glad it held your attention. I like when that happens.

Rich

 

Submitted by VeraClark on

Another breath of fresh air. You've made her exist, Rich. Marvellous character.

'Mrs. Teaberry cracked open her can, downed it in one long gulp and tossed the empty in the sink.'

One nil to Teaberry.