K: 4/24/03

Work Diary, 4/24/03

1. Why is it that anarchists look like the type of people who would be
the first to go in such a brave new world?

2. Why do my employees call our clients "idiots" for wrecking their
cars (when their sole reason for being here is to handle automobile
accidents)?

3. Why do my dog's toes smell like Fritos?

4. Why does praise leave me shuddering and pacing the smoking dock like
a caged animal, muttering "ohgodohgodohgod"?

5. Why didn't anyone see me that night I got drunk and climbed onto the
pawn shop roof, using the wall and a delivery truck to scale
Batman-like to the top?

6. Why do fools fall in love, really?

7. Why did I decide to put relaxer in my hair, the ammonia turning my
head into a furry black tarantula with a death grip on my comb?

8. Why can't I remember the name of each person I've slept with?

9. Why have I still never learned to use the voicemail function on my
cell phone?

10. Why am I so sarcastic?