Q: 5/21/03

Work Diary, 5/21/03

Grumpy tidbits?

1. I am currently suffering from a delightful case of Montezuma's
Revenge. I can't help but think, "What have I ever done to the Mexican
people to deserve this?" I'm fairly certain it's from the apple
streudel I ate at the Cancun airport, but who knows? On a cheerier
note: I've lost seven pounds since last Saturday.

2. The elevator people have come and gone in my building, replacing all
the buttons and doors and assuring us that we will no longer have to
wait in the lobby for fifteen minutes just to get to the second floor
(and, yes, I would use the stairs, but the powers-that-be refuse to
give me a key). Yesterday, I got on the elevator along with an old man
and his wife. "Is the button pushed? Is the button pushed?" the old man
asked, then launched into a story about how he's blind in one eye and
god knows they need to make those buttons brighter for the old folks
like him, because how on earth would he be expected to know where he
was going?ebb, ebb, ebb. His story continued even as I tried to
politely exit. I glanced at his wife, who was rolling her eyes, both of
which seemed to work just fine.

3. Tonight is the last night of American Idol, during which one person
will be chosen to become a pseudo-star with one hit record. I like both
the remaining contestants: One is a skinny geek-a-zoid with weird
eyebrows and the other is a big black man from Alabama. I'm pretty sure
the geek is gay, but the public seems to like him, which either means
the insipid dream of gays to become more mainstream is working or the
public is very, very blind.

4. While I was gone last week, my office got two "cats," or
catastrophes. Mostly the cats involved hail and tornadoes. Everyone is
very stressed by the workload, snapping at one another like rabid
terriers. Yesterday I found a former employee of mine hyperventilating
on the smoking dock. She doesn't even smoke, for chrissakes. So I said,
"Hey, you're taking up space. Go turn purple someplace else."

5. As of Tuesday night, the United States in on "orange alert" for
terrorism. Apparently, orange is a very high level, just under the
"say-your-prayers-cuz-your-ass-is-grass" level. This bit of alarmist
propaganda was brought to us by "American intelligence," which somehow
seems to be directly linked to George Bush's popularity ratings. My
question: When is the Bush backlash supposed to start? Shouldn't we be
in the midst of it already?