English If You Please

England is a constitutional monarchy

It works like this don't you see

They have heirs and spares

They're not going anywhere

England is a constitutional monarchy.

The English have royals and a throne

About them- their subjects like to moan

Their princes quite lanky

Get up to hanky panky

The English have royals and a throne.

The English are addicted to tea

They drink it with milk, don't you see

Never lemon or honey

Don't you think that's funny?

The English are addicted to tea

The English are quite proper don't you know

They'd not swear if they stubbed their toe

They'd say 'oh dearie me'

Then go and have some tea

The English are quite proper don't you know.

The English talk of weather day and night

Oh yes, they think it's a fright

No matter sun, rain or snow

They banter it to and fro

The English talk of weather day and night.

The English like to travel abroad

While there, they eat only chips and cod

No foreign food for them

Just fill their tankards to the brim

The English like to travel abroad

The English have a stiff upper lip

You'd think they closed their mouths with a zip

They never talk to strangers

In that, there might be danger

The English have a stiff upper lip.

The English as a whole are quite nice

Please dont make me say that twice

Their famous sense of humour

Is more than just a rumour

The English as a whole are quite nice!