Dust

By Parson Thru

Fri, 16 Dec 2011
  • 994 reads
2 comments
 

Soft desert sand
through my fingers

Slipping away
like a ghost

Was it a dream?
Did you really exist?

Tell me, where did you go?

Melting like snow
in the midday sun

Gone with
the fine morning mist

Was there a glimmer
of spring in your eye?

Might we ever have kissed?

Were the wolves so near
in the darkness?

Did they circle
and close for the kill?

Then melt unseen
back into the brush?

Why did the woods become still?

I felt something die
- a small forest death

Clouds raced
over the moon

Where did you go
as I held my last breath?

Something came over the room

Woods turn to ashes
Wolves become dust

The sand
begins to slow

Where is the light
that signalled spring?

Tell me, where did it go?

Certificate U
Parson Thru I
Miscellaneous

Comments

Submitted by scratch on
Haunting in the end, a dream sequence melancholy that slows the eye over each word and line. An observation if I may, and your opinion as well in return. At the start of the piece you have provided a series of naturalistic elemental images. Sand, desert, snow, sun, midday, warm, mist and spring. I think that (possibly) the sheer variation of polarised images perhaps dilutes a little from overall effect. Please remember that this is only my subjective opinion.

 

Submitted by Parson Thru on
Thanks for your feedback scratch. Really well received. I hadn't thought about that but you have a point. Maybe a few too many fillings in the sandwich. Will retire to the woods and think.

Parson Thru