Diary 6

I’ve a wallet full of cards from credit cards to a Tesco card, now it appears I need an equity card if I wish to take my acting ambitions further. Sent off my c.v. with a photograph to an agent recommended by the actor client I’m working for. Received a positive reply and a request for a second photograph. A profile shot. Obviously my previous acting experience as ‘the artful dodger’ aged 11 and the lead roll as 'a snowman that melted', aged 8 has set me apart from other applicants.
Apparently a picture portfolio would be an advantage if I wish to become a thespian. I feel some ability to orate or act may be an advantage but no. A thousand pound picture portfolio will set me firmly on the road to Broadway. My agent is sending me the forms and easy payment schedule. His parting comment over the phone ‘you’ve cheeks to die for’ made me shift uncomfortably in the chair from one to the other.
A man obviously wiser than me wrote ‘you’ll find it difficult to make sitting in a car for hours funny’. I confess on my commute it does usually make me smile although not laugh out loud when I’m driving along looking at stationary traffic in the oncoming carriageway.
Recently having sat grumbling for ten minutes on the motorway, with no traffic on the opposite carriageway, signaling a major accident. I left my stationary metal capsule, bonnet to boot with the other three lanes of metal capsules and walked onto the grass verge to pee. Turning to see the two ladies from the car behind vaulting the central reservation, crossing the opposing empty carriage way and disappearing into the trees on the grass verge opposite. Trees minutes later temporarily obscured by an articulated lorry and two cars. The other carriageway had re opened. Time to return to the car and continue my journey.