The Cuckoo's Nest

I've been here so long, I forget myself.
But Jacqueline, my favourite nurse,
always reminds me. I forget why I'm here ...
so I dream, and remember.

I came home from school one day,
found my mother - a choker made of rope
around her neck. It matched the straw pearls
of her Jewish eyes. The holocaust the cause.

My stepfather said I was to blame -
damned my father's true-blue eyes
that shone from my face.

When I first arrived here, I used a chair leg
to smash a light bulb -
tried to electrocute myself with a stolen fork.

They took my chair after that.
I sat on the floor, but Jacqueline
brought cushions.
Because she says I'm harmless.

One day I got bored.
Tried to slash my wrists with letters
I'd received. Paper cuts wouldn't suffice.
They took my mail after that.
I was lonely, but Jacqueline came at night
with my letters - read them to me.
Because she says I'm harmless.

I behaved myself for months
and was allowed some acrylics and canvas.
After I painted over the security camera,
tried to hang myself with my bed sheets.

They took my duvet after that.
I was cold. But Jacqueline brought
some secret blankets.
Because she says I'm harmless.

Wish I could stop dreaming though ...
About Jacqueline and chokers
made of rope.