Honey, Honey

By ladylazarus

Wed, 20 May 2009
  • 1704 reads
7 comments
 

This chat we need
My toes curl to grip the edges
I honey everything
Flinch internally
Watch your eyes retreat
You have neatly packaged me

I remain neat
You’d hate the grief
I wish you’d honey things
I’d hold my tongue more
I’d ask less
You talk like bee stings

It’s a relief
To let go of letting go
It was everything honey
I will breathe more
You’re done
The phone rings

Certificate U
Stumbling Over The Words (Poems)
Miscellaneous

Comments

Submitted by russiandoll on
I think this is fab. I can feel the flinch, the bee sting words piercing again and again. The intelligence and pragmatism with which the bad news is received is really strong. Great stuff, glad you posted it - thanks.

 

Submitted by Mangone on
I liked this too. I thought it was going to be a "kiss me honey, honey." Instead it seems more of a 'you'll miss me, honey, honey.' I wonder sometimes if we don't control ourselves too much. Maybe you should have given him some grief to hate.

Submitted by ladylazarus on
Thank you - Mangone I think maybe you are right

 

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
You shouldn't doubt this poem - it's wonderful! I love the rhythm and especially these lines; 'Watch your eyes retreat You have neatly packaged me' Magic xxx

 

Submitted by Sikander on
Oh, if only I could write like this in a flurry... Great poem LL. Loved it.

Submitted by Dynamaso on
I too am glad you put this up for us to read as it is a really good piece.

 

Submitted by Cavalcader on
new ladylazarus I to think this is well done! stanza I like is last. It's a relief To let go of letting go It was everything honey I will breathe more You're done The phone rings thankyou sharing it. I was called honey once, I didn't like it. julie