Returning to Empty Rooms

By sunshine

Tue, 09 Jun 2009

2539 reads

15 comments

he pushed open the doors
which for so long had been sealed tight
against the tide of days

he wandered through her shuttered rooms
following the lines of indecision
and fractured conversation

dark walls were painted thick
with memories of past horrors and
questions which had tormented her
were etched deep in the flaking plaster

the time for answers had come and gone

scattered fragments of a mirror
perjured the years of silence which had
stretched between them

the mark of tears in the dust
gave testimony to wounds
now deeply scarred

he threw open the windows and light
spilled onto a bed stained by imagined bliss
and the ignorance
which she had called trust

Comments

Love the imagery in this,

Permalink Submitted by jennifer on Tue, 2009-06-09 15:56

Love the imagery in this, but not sure about the last line - it feels extra, what do you think? J x

Thanks Jennifer - it's now

Permalink Submitted by sunshine on Tue, 2009-06-09 22:50

Thanks Jennifer - it's now gone and better for it. That was just one of the things I've not been certain of and I'd gradually cut it back to this line from around 6 lines, yet still hung on to this one. No idea why! It really helps to see things as others do. Margot

Well, I didn't read it

Permalink Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on Tue, 2009-06-09 18:52

Well, I didn't read it 'before' but I sure admire it 'after'. Brilliant imagery, as Jennifer says. A much savoured poem. Tina

Just popped back to say many

Permalink Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on Tue, 2009-06-09 18:56

Just popped back to say many congrats on the well-deserved cherry;-)

I missed the change too. It

Permalink Submitted by chuck on Tue, 2009-06-09 20:01

I missed the change too. It certainly works nicely the way it is.

Lovely poem. congrats on the

Permalink Submitted by sarah wilson on Tue, 2009-06-09 20:32

Lovely poem. congrats on the cherry:)

Very well done and the

Permalink Submitted by Cavalcader on Tue, 2009-06-09 20:56

Very well done and the cherry, I love the verse Scattered fragments perjured years of silence? Reminds of the mirror cracked from side to side and she rode down to camelot, " The Lady of Shalot" Im new to all this, oldie trying.c x

Love this poem full of deep

Permalink Submitted by pumadelta on Tue, 2009-06-09 21:32

Love this poem full of deep intetention and provocative imagery...well done on the cherry... Puma

Thanks so much everyone for

Permalink Submitted by sunshine on Tue, 2009-06-09 21:36

Thanks so much everyone for the positive comments, and Ewen for the cherry. I reeeeally value this as I fought with this poem - it's kind of, no it IS, autobiographical ......about something very very painful which happened a very very very long time ago, and here rolled up with a more recent event which helped me deal with it. I guess that's why I was being precious about the (now deleted) last line. I was trying to spell out the ending too clearly. Thanks again everyone. I can see why you've made the link to Lady of Shalot, now you've pointed it out Cavalcaderi. And as to being new to this - there's plenty of us oldies having a go here! Margot

very dark but then,

Permalink Submitted by DraxB on Wed, 2009-06-10 15:13

very dark but then, literally, there's light at the end. Another well earned cherry.

thank you Drax - there

Permalink Submitted by sunshine on Thu, 2009-06-11 19:12

thank you Drax - there should always be light.

THis is such a deep poem,

Permalink Submitted by mariaduffy on Wed, 2009-06-10 17:49

THis is such a deep poem, but full of meaning. The imagery is excellent and you've really dragged us into the person's mind. If it's autobiographical, you've done a wonderful job in portraying the feelings and if it's not, you've done an amazing job in making it believeable. Wonderful free verse yet again. Maria x

mariaduffy