An Incident on the Line

Cherry

By Silver Spun Sand

Wed, 12 Aug 2009
  • 6107 reads
22 comments
 

No one saw him fall –
the man who left behind
a battered, leather suitcase
crammed full of mountains
and forests,
pyramids, deserts, waterfalls
and canyons;

bursting at the seams
with windswept beaches and castles
made from sand. Bikini-clad
girls and brown-skinned boys
in Y-fronts. And promises
made in the heat of the moment;
voices, preserved in brine.

Certificate 15
Poem
Silver Spun Sand Poems
Miscellaneous

Comments

Submitted by Sikander on
This is gorgeous, Sliver. Your choice of line breaks is fantastic. A beautiful snapshot of a life - perfectly preserved.

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Thankyou, Sikander. Silver

 

Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
Top notch as usual Tina; very good indeed! Chris XX

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
And my thanks to you, Chris;-) Tina xx

 

Submitted by Cavalcader on
Silver-spun-sand nice to hear from you welcome back very good and suit case is like a make- up never know what is in it! Iv'e just had sausages in Brine! Love all of it. Beeme and I been busy! and me here! but not quite finished yet. Iv'e learnt to do smiley sign through you thanks and done profile again so improving my name is in Forum I didn't do pleased wonder? who. julie xx (:- I can do smiley's thanks you taught me

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Mouth-watering imagery Tina! It's nice to see a shorter poem from you but it is still crammed full of the usual Tina essence ;) Especially love: 'a battered, leather suitcase crammed full of mountains and forests, pyramids, deserts, waterfalls and canyons;' and the last line rounds it all off perfectly! Magic xxx

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Thanks Magic for looking so deeply at the poem - but then you always do;-) Yes, you are right, it certainly is a lot shorter than many I have written recently. Actually, between you and me, this did have another verse, but it was quite superfluous when I really thought about it. So pleased you enjoyed it and I have to say, I do find the IP quite marvellous for curing writer's block...if only momentarily, unfortunately. Tina xxx

 

Submitted by Cavalcader on
Silver-spun-sand great imagageries here Congrat: *on the Cherry I agree a battered leather suitcase crammed full! of mountains and forests. pyramids,deserts,waterfalls and canyons jule xx (:-.

Submitted by Cavalcader on
Silver-spun-sand Hubby just downloaded my 1st magazine Issue 15 Wow what a cracker you are but I see a likeness mind me saying in "Eva Petrelengo" fortune teller I ahve not had time yet raed all stories on here, just brief it all. They are all amazing work Must get busy and read later give me ideas Beeme is my helper twinning to-gether at moment. julie xx Cavalcader (-:

Submitted by Bradene on
This response to this weeks IP is brilliant Tina, I've been scratching my head all week but nothing has materialised so far. Well done. Val x

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Thanks so much for that, Val;-) Prior to writing this (thank goodness for the IP sometimes) I really was suffering from writer's block and this seems to have temporarily 'oiled the cogs', so to speak. So pleased you got something from it. Tina xx

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Hello there Julie ... thank you so much for all your lovely comments. I appreciate it;-) Eva Petulengro, no less. I am flattered and you can call me a 'cracker' any time you like...my other half usually calls me a 'crackpot' so it makes a nice variation on a theme;-) Funnily enough, you mention the latest ABC mag - well I downloaded it today for the first time too. I didn't have the software on my machine before, but installed it today and hey presto!! Yes, it is a really good issue. Everyone on the editorial team works so hard and it is certainly something for them to be proud of. Glad you enjoyed my poem too and I thank you for reading, as always, and for your refreshing enthusiasm. Now, I'm off to read a few palms and maybe some tea-leaves;-) Tina X

 

Submitted by Beeme on
Sorry Tina, looks like I'm late on commenting. I just read your poem and I think it is suberb! I love it all, you description is so simple and yet you produce such great imagery. One of your best poems I think. I loved this line; 'And promises made in the heat of the moment; voices, preserved in brine.' -it is also the perfect finish, as Magic said :-) Beeme xx

k.

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Beeme- no apologies necessary;-) My thanks to you for reading and for taking the trouble to let me know how much you enjoyed this - a reward in itself. Tina xx

 

Submitted by Beeme on
It really is an amazing poem, tina :-) I forgot to congratulate you on the cherry, well done! Beeme xx

k.

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
;-) Tina xx

 

Submitted by Cavalcader on
new Silver-spun-sand I think I said Cogratulations on the cherry. the computer up the wall last night my name now gone of the Forum and every comment I did.one said you not authorised to comment! and all said and mine login or register so have ok. mine calls me worse! but I went fete had goes things guess name of Bunny well I love Honey hence Honey Bunny I won him. needs a clean. julie cavalcader xx (:- still got read all mag: and congats:all and Editors brill:

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Congratulations, Julie!! I've often tried guessing the name of things, and I have never succeeded. Hope bunny cleans up a treat;-) By the way, I love honey too, use it in place of sugar all the time. Yes, I have seen you there up on the Forum. Well done. Very well done;-) Tina x

 

Submitted by andrew-evans on
I wish i could write like this, i try my absoulute best to get power and emotion behind my peices and so often fail. You always seem to get eveything you want to say in and i must congratulate you on that. This is another amazing piece and look forward to reading more of your work

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Andrew - my sincere thanks to you. Glad that it inspired you and by the way, taking a look at your work, you are certainly on the way to achieving your goals. Tina

 

Submitted by littleditty on
perfect capture, lot contained in that case -also linked to a recent news story on the telly? Really liked this poem Tina :)x

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Ld - it is always so good to hear from you and I'm glad you liked this one. It is amazing, sometimes, what the old IP can manage to entice out of the woodwork;-) As far as the news story is concerned, I have to say I am not familiar with it, but I will try racking the brains of my good friend Mr. Google, to see if he can throw some light. Hope you are well;-) Tina xx