Before the Tank Ran Out

Before the Tank Ran Out

by

Matt McGuire

We met at a bar called Shoot the Moon.
Over smoke, gin,
and Stones
we flowered the air
with our dead
characters,
stories of bitter times,
restraining orders,
unemployment holidays
in a trailer park
paradise.

You went home with me
and I was too drunk
to break any of them
rules you'd set for
yourself about meeting
men at bars.
You slept on my old red paisley
ashtray
while I counted the black seams
between a broken ocean
of paneling as the spinning room
hummed tax free heating oil
in a warm furnaced
citadel.

You moved in the next day,
bringing a cooler full of Hungry Man Dinners,
a few Willie Nelson records
and half a six pack
of Tab.
Makeup did a poorly job of
disguising
your jaundice,
but you made good Bloody Marys
and kept
my spit can fresh.
Sometimes you'd zone to the soaps
when your scrip
got filled
and when it didn't I'd
brush your hair
with an old mane comb,
watching the ridges down your brow
disappear unbleached
into your roots.

You and the oil tank ran out
last month
when I lost my benefits.
Now you're three trailers
over
making Jim Murphy
Bloody Marys
and riding shotgun
in his tow truck
till I get another rig,
but that probably ain't
gonna happen
since my CDL is suspended
and I can't stay sober long
enough to face
the men in blue suits.

So I'm just gonna sit here
and finish my last t.v. dinner
it's a Hungry Man
with chocolate pudding
just like you liked
when you were mine.
Then I'll have a talk with Jesus
that won't get past the ceiling
tiles
and finish the last of that
goddamn
bottle behind the Sealtest
marked November 10th.

It's almost Valentine's Day
and the Spring brings
new beginnings
maybe my luck will come around
and we'll spend
St. Paddy's
together
watching cable if I can get it
cut back on.
I'll keep the dream alive,
honey
if you promise you close your eyes
when Jim Murphy
turns out the lights
and if he does brush your
hair with something better
than an old mane comb
then I bet he doesn't do it
near as softly
as I did before the tank
ran out.