Bishops with Vaginas

God's a man they know it
To dispute it is a sin
Can't you feel the bristles
Of his beard against your skin?

His child a boy, a king no less
Was formed without disgrace
An immaculate conception
To avoid that sinful place

Poor Mary wouldn't cope alone
And carry offspring on her own
So God devised a rescue plan
And introduced a woodwork man

Who didn't seem to do alot
But's still integral to the plot
He held the donkey's bridle
As the couple journeyed long
To find a manger and some sheep
(but that bit might be wrong)

And through the vulval vestibule
The boy king did appear
Mary somehow pushed him out
the poor exhausted dear

The boy grew tall and slim and white
Well all those paintings must be right
And like his dad he grew a beard
The Jesus look is still reverred

And he was very talented
All that of course he got from Dad
He healed the sick and fed the poor
And some of that is true for sure

He had twelve friends indeed some more
But Junia, Pheobe we'll ignore
It seems that only names of men
Flowed freely from the ancient pen

He died and came alive again
But only just to die again
His encore we remember still
With chocolate eggs to make us ill

His legends they were carried on
But some were dropped or twisted
And when it came to telling them
Just menfolk were enlisted

Ladies they could come and sit
And learn if they were able
But not if they were menstrual
Or otherwise unstable

For church is surely not a place
For fluids of the human race
Although some priests as we now know
I said I wouldn't go there - no!

And now two thousand years have passed
The time has come for girls to ask
Why can't we do the work of God
To not allow us would be odd

Be priests and vicars that's enough
We'll still do the important stuff
A mitred hat would surely crush
Your pretty heads so full of mush

We'll have a vote if you insist
Though our MD's vote might be missed
Sometimes he can't articulate
On HR stuff he can't relate

But what of your head of department's vote
Our queenie, Ms Regina's
Surely she cannot object
To Bishops with vaginas