The Marriage of Naomi! (I P) Part One

The Marriage of Naomi! (I P) Part One

The sun had got his hat on hip hip hip hooray! The reason being it was to be Naomi’s wedding day. Yes, she was getting married. It came as the greatest surprise of her mother’s life when the daughter with the unfortunate face gave her the news. The girl’s mother immediately thought she must be up the duff! There was something different about her but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it. Naomi had always been a strange one. Probably because she had a face that only a mother could love and the girl knew her mother found that quite a challenge too. What with her bushy hair and eyebrows to match, as well as the beginnings of a nice little moustache and one or two hairs sprouting on her chin.

Yes, Naomi had been a most unlovely child and she had grown into a most unlovely woman but she took it all on the chin, the chin with one or two hairs sprouting not one of the other chins because she had several to choose from. Yes someone had been over generous in the chin department but Naomi took it in her stride. Well, she didn’t have much choice really. When I say stride, she did seem able to move at a fair old lick despite the fact that her legs only just reached her bum. She was also a bit on the podgy side as she had a bosom that stuck out in front and looked capable of carrying a tray of teas and a bum which stuck out behind creating a sort of shelf that looked sturdy enough to take luggage!

With all this going for her daughter, Naomi’s mother, Paulette, thought she need never worry about being looked after when she could no longer do it for herself because Naomi would always be there to take care of her in her dotage. Now it seems she was to be denied her future carer as the silly girl had got herself up the duff! Still, she couldn’t wait to see what sort of bloke was prepared to take her Naomi on. It would explain it if he had a white stick or owned a Labrador with a fluorescent jacket but when pressed Naomi just gave a secretive little smile and shook her head.

Well all would be revealed at three o’clock that afternoon when her Naomi quite the ugliest of her five children took her vows. The girl had bought herself a really nice wedding dress and the girl's mother couldn’t fathom how she could have found the money to buy such a dress. When it came to the veil though Paulette felt she had to advise her child as if it were too thin the girl might find herself jilted at the altar and Paulette’s maternal instincts were sufficiently strong to the point that she wouldn’t allow for that to happen and took steps to protect her daughter from such an embarrassing situation. So, the two of them had gone shopping with the intention of finding a suitable veil for the big day but while Naomi was looking at lovely filmy white net creations with beautiful tiaras, Paulette was looking at something that more resembled curtain material being white velvet with a thermal lining. Well, a mother had to protect her child but Naomi would not accept her mother’s kind offer of payment if she would only allow her mother to advise her in this matter.

“No, mother that is not what I want and I will not have it. For a start I would not be able to see out.”

Her mother replied

“Yes but, more to the point no one would be able to see in!”

“Mother I am getting a little bit tired of you always putting me down. You just don’t seem able to accept that I have found someone who worships the ground I walk on.”

“Does he? Does he really?”

“Yes, and is it really necessary for you to show such surprise?”

“Well, we haven’t exactly had suitors queuing up, have we now?”

“Only because I turned them all away until Mr Right came along.”

“You mean there were others?”

“Oh, yes mother, there were many others.”

“How come?” said Paulette utterly gobsmacked by this revelation.

“Well it may come as a surprise to you, mother dear, but people warm to me. I don’t know why that is but there you have it.”

“It must be because they don’t see you as a threat.”

“What do you mean by that remark? I can assure you I can be as threatening as the next person if the occasion demands it.”

“Yes, but not in the love stakes because no woman is going to be afraid that her husband will run off with you, now, are they?”

“Thank you for that, mother, such a vote of confidence, I am quite overwhelmed by your generosity of thought.”

“That’s all right, dear, think nothing of it.”

“Yes, my sentiments exactly.”

Paulette looked at her ugly duckling daughter and thought to herself, where is this new found confidence coming from, answering back like that? She had never previously done that. Paulette realised she would have to be careful what she said now because the girl was showing spirit, in fact ever since she had moved out of the family home and into a small council flat, she had never seemed quite the same. She had an independent streak that was not there before because when she lived at home her main interest seemed to be hiding herself away to read her books or listen to her music. Her choice of music though was terrible, it was that Mozart bloke and what a racket he made and not only was she always playing it, she used to sing along with it too and it properly got on Paulette’s nerves.

What was wrong with The Wanted or The Script or even one of the Gallaghers or if she was so inclined to go in the direction of One Direction but no Naomi had to be different. She had to like that bloody Mozart bloke and his Marriage of Figaro which in the opinion of Paulette was a bloody daft name for a bloody daft piece of music. And it was even worse when Naomi started to sing along. She had a powerful voice and sometimes it even sounded quite nice to the girl’s mother but she couldn’t bring herself to say so in case it encouraged Naomi to sing it all the more and that would give Paulette a headache. In fact Naomi had always given her mother a headache but she couldn’t very well turn her out on to the street now, could she? However, Paulette breathed a sigh of relief when Naomi eventually moved out…no more bloody Mozart!

Oh, Paulette had a sudden thought was that how Naomi had put together the money for such a dress? Had she become a lady of the night well, she wouldn’t have earned a penny if she had become a lady of the day.

Now, however it was time for her to pack Naomi off to the beauty parlour as she would need to get there in plenty of time if the wedding was at three because it was now nearly nine o’clock in the morning so it was cutting things a bit fine. What they would be able to do with her was anyone’s guess after all they weren’t miracle workers, were they? Paulette had insisted the Creative Director of the Salon was the only person she would accept as her daughter’s beautician on this, Naomi’s special day! Well he would need to give full rein to his creative abilities today as he was being presented with the biggest challenge of his creative career.

Anyway, after Naomi had been despatched to the beauty parlour Paulette could give some thought to her own beauty regime. She had bought herself a beautiful outfit and she was booked in for her own beauty treatment at one’clock at her usual parlour which was different to the one to where she had sent Naomi. So she had time first to have a cup of tea and reflect on this strange idea of her daughter having had other suitors. The one thing Paulette knew about her daughter was that the girl always spoke the truth. She never ever told lies. Something that Paulette had been embarrassed by on more than one occasion. For example, she remembered how her own best friend, Mona, had called round to try on and show the outfit she was going to wear to her own forthcoming wedding as she had found herself a new husband.

She had lost her first husband a year previously. Yes, he had run off with the Avon Lady would you believe? Paulette’s friend was so upset because the Avon Lady hadn’t even had the decency to bring round her order before she cleared off and Mona was completely out of blusher and that new long lash mascara. The poor woman cried buckets…well; she wanted to see if the waterproof mascara really worked liked they said it did. But, nevertheless, she really missed the Avon Lady although it was a fortnight before she realised her husband had gone too.

Anyway, to get back to Naomi when Mona asked Paulette and her daughter what they thought of her outfit, Paulette did her best to buoy up her friend and oohed and aahed as befits a best friend and this was done with the best intentions too but not so with Naomi. She just looked and said,

“It’s hideous! You look almost as ugly as me in that outfit and mother is lying through her teeth because I know she hates it too as she told me it was hideous when she came back from shopping with you when you bought it.”

Needless to say that was the end of a thirty year friendship but Paulette couldn’t stop herself from secretly admiring her daughter’s honesty.

Anyway, Paulette got herself off to the beauty parlour but was surprised on her return home to find that Naomi was still not back from her appointment as it was now almost two thirty. She was getting concerned as although it is the bride’s prerogative to be late Paulette thought in her daughter’s case it was a dangerous tactic. What if he was to have a change of heart? She was giving him too much room for manoeuvre, this bridegroom who lurked in the shadows. Anyway, she thought the best thing was to phone her daughter’s mobile but it just went to voicemail. Time was getting on and she had to get changed herself so after trying once or twice more she gave up trying thinking her daughter must know what she was doing and the girl knew what time the car would arrive. Paulette got herself dressed in her beautiful Mother of the Bride outfit and she was just about to phone for a taxi when the front doorbell rang. She opened the door to see a shiny black Rolls Royce on her driveway with a uniformed driver on her door step.

“Paulette Makepeace, I am here to drive you to the church. Your daughter says to tell you not to worry she has everything in hand…”

Paulette was in a daze how could her ugly duckling daughter afford all this. She must be very good at her chosen profession if she has money to splash about like this. Once again, she had a sneaking admiration for her daughter. Who would have thought she could have made her way in the world in the way that she obviously had with a face that could curdle milk? There must be something exceptional about her daughter which somehow she had overlooked. Anyway, Paulette was quite happy to settle herself in the back seat of the Rolls and allow the driver to take her to the church.

TO BE CONTINUED