I want to phone my brother

Cherry

By Parson Thru

Sat, 12 Jan 2013
  • 2244 reads
6 comments
 

I want to phone my brother.

You can't.
He's on holiday in Tenerife.

Oh, yeah.

_________I want to phone my brother.

_________You can't.
_________He hasn't come home.
_________His girlfriend came back on her own.

I want to phone my brother.

You can't.
He's missing.
The police are looking for him.

_________I want to phone my brother.

_________You can't.
_________They've found him.
_________David's dead.

I want to phone my brother.

For a better view of how this ought to look, follow this link: http://www.parsonthru.com/wordpress/?p=886

Certificate U
Parson Thru III
Miscellaneous

Comments

Submitted by Parson Thru on
Blimey. Thank you.

Parson Thru

Submitted by MS on
Simple, brutal and to the point.

 

Submitted by Parson Thru on
Thank you MS. Thanks Bear. A bit off the wall, I suppose. Appreciate your comments.

Parson Thru

Submitted by maddi on
powerful use of very simple clear language, nothing superfluous or flowery. i feel the simplicity makes the emotional impact much more intense. nice one.

 

Submitted by Denzella on
This poem has a special significance for me as I spent New Year's Eve and all of New Year's day and night mobilising three police forces to find my brother as well as ringing round all the hospitals. Fortunately, he was found safe and well Moya Ooops! Sorry, great poem. I like its simplicity and its structure. Congrats on cherries. Moya
 

Submitted by Parson Thru on
Thank goodness, Moya. Glad it was a happy ending. Take care of him. Hope all is well with you both otherwise. Good to hear from you.

Parson Thru