I'm Sorry

By Sooz006

Tue, 28 Oct 2014
  • 1852 reads
8 comments
 

I'm Sorry.

I am so, so sorry.

I know it was my fault. I won't do it again honestly I won't.
I shouldn't have bought you the wrong cigarettes.
I should have moved my head.
It's not your fault.
it’s mine.

I’m stupid.

I shouldn't have eaten crisps while you watched the news.
I should have protected my eyes.
It's not your fault.
It's mine.

I’m fat.

I shouldn't have let a hair fall into your food.
I should have ducked.
It's not your fault
it’s mine.

I’m ugly.

I'm sorry, I know I'm no good.

If I was better, you wouldn’t need other women.
If I were smarter you wouldn't have to shout at me.
If I were prettier you wouldn't need to call me ugly in public.
I'll try to be what you want.

Be a good wife.

I’ll do anything you ask to make you want me.

Yes I promise.
I promise.
I promise.
No more
Please no more.
I'm sorry your horse didn't come in.
I'm sorry it rained today.
I'm sorry the car wouldn't start.
I'm sorry you aren't happy.
I'm so frightened.
I'm a coward.

That's my fault too.

I'm sorry I can't go out for a few days.
I'm sorry my face bled on the chair.
I'm sorry I wet myself in fear.
I'm sorry I disappoint you.

Please don't hurt me anymore.

It's my fault I fear.

Certificate 15
Poem
Writing 2020
Other Fiction

Comments

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Very chillingly real to life, and cleverly put together. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Sooz006 on

Hi Rhiannon, sorry I haven't commented on this sooner but I've only just seen it. thank you so much for the read and comment.

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Very chillingly real to life, and cleverly put together. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Starfish Girl on

Very well done, summing up very well the despair, fear and futility of the lives of these poor women.

Lindy

Submitted by Sooz006 on

Thank you Lindy, really appreciate thec read and comment. You have a lovely name. 

 

Submitted by jeand on

Hi Sooz

This is powerful in showing the lack of power , and so sad that it is true in so many cases.

Jean

Jean Day

Submitted by Sooz006 on

Yes Jean, but more fool the women who stay and live like that. It took me seven years to get out, I literally feared for my life if I took my son and left.... but then, later when it was really bad, I feared for my life staying and leaving became the safer option. It's a hard situation but if you don't leave the first time somebody lays their hands on you, then I'm sorry, but you're perpetuating the abuse. 

 

I have a friend at the beginning of the journey. He was hit for the first time last week, but he's taken his partner bakc because guess what? 'I love him.' 

 

And then we get the excuses, 'Yes, he hit me three times but he didn't hurt me, if he'd meant it he'd have knocked me out.'  that's how it starts darling, nice little love pats at first. just to break you in gently. 

 

The man in question hit my friend because he was standing in weay of his boyfirend's mother at the time, the person he was trying to get to to really knock seven kinds of shit out of. 

 

I will support no matter what, he's my best firend, but I lack patience and told him to man up, grow a pair and get rid of the bastard. 

 

Complete bollocks, how can you love a man who does that to you? 

 

Submitted by jeand on

Gosh, you certainly knew what you were writing about. I hope it's better now.

Jean

Jean Day