Mindscape: Ice (Poetry Monthly)

Gold cherry

By Philip Sidney

Sun, 02 Aug 2015
  • 5264 reads
20 comments
 

Greenland is a Miro abstract from the air

white canvas, punctuated by

blue eyes and mouths, they look up

 

I think myself into the blank below

cluttered by brain-shaped rocks

consider what it is to be, non-sentient, present/absent

 

a wing from an airliner was washed ashore -

imagine plunging from the air into the cold depths

pliant flesh perishing, a dream

 

of falling

flying, forever

elsewhere,

not here, always

distracted.

Certificate 12
Poem

Comments

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Please critique my anniversary poem - one year today with ABCTales, thanks to everyone I've read and have yet to read - and everyone who's read me. smiley

Submitted by Canonette on

Happy Anniversary!  I love the fact that this could be a journey purely of the imagination, or a real account; it doesn't really matter which, because it has a dreamlike quality.  The blankness of the icy lanscape seems to result in a loss of self.

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thanks Canonette, I'm glad it works on both levels, it was a real image that got me thinking, great idea for PM!  I may be writing a few for this one. smiley

Submitted by Canonette on

posted twice blush

 

Submitted by Bee on

Hi Philip.

Such a perfect flow of words describing the scenery so beautifully and quietly stunning us with the plane crash and the ethereal imagination of falling and forever flying. 

I can't believe you have only been here for a year. But thank you for all your reading and welcome comments. 

X

Bee

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thank you Bee :) and for making ABC seem like home:) x

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Congratulations on your ABC anniversary from a veteran. I have been on this site - on and off - since 2003. Your input of superior standard has made such an impact that it seems you been with us forever.
Great poem by the way..

Luigi x

 

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thank you so much Luigi, what a lovely thing to say. smiley

Submitted by VeraClark on

Pass the cake you old-timer. Time flies. A writer to aspire to - you are,  my thoughts. This is clean and abstract, a thinking space, a trauma as an event with a sense of emotional dislocation, connotes brain injury too, in places. It has a delicious sense of letting go, giving in to bigger falls, dropping into space.Things I considered were - do you need 'frail' and if you did let it go, could 'never here' become 'not here.' Tiny things I considered as I heard it aloud. See what you think. Perhaps bog off.  'Frail' might be substituted for another word but I felt something more abstract would fit better or to cut it because you've managed to take human vulnerability out of the fall so artistically despite of the crash. It's glorious, Philip. 

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thank you so much Vera :) I'm channelling a slice of rainbow cake to you all. heart As always you'r thoughts are so insightful - I'll do an edit. smiley

Submitted by jeand on

HI Helen

Beuatifully done, as all have above said. And how nice to celebrate your first anniversary with us. We have all gained from your presence.

Jean

Jean Day

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thank you so much Jean :) I feel that I am learning from you all. smiley

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

I echo all that has been saidsmiley  Mindblowing poem, and many congrats on that anniversary.  You have made ABC all the richer.

Tina

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

How lovely of you to say so,Tina. It's been an education. smiley

Submitted by VeraClark on

This is our Facebook and Twitter Pick of the Day!

Get a great reading recommendation every day.

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

What a lovely surprise, thank you! smiley

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

woohoo - happy abc anniversary, and what a lovely dreamy pick of the day!

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thank you so much! smiley

Submitted by Pat G on

I shiver with the starkness, "I think myself into the blank below" preparers us for  the gloriouly terse final stanza. What an achievement. 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Well thank you Pat!  :)