Every Third Thursday
By Bee
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As the hours March on to Thursday
people try to reassure me that I'm almost
there - just one more stop to go -
after this, the penultimate punishment.
But penultimate means still
two more. Six weeks
of feeling sick, drug side-effects
accumulating in the system.
Penultimate, or not -
I keep thinking about Thursday.
District nurse says, sensibly - Tick off
every thing accomplished as another
step behind you on your journey to recovery.
But a neighbour threw me yesterday,
'So have they told you
what your chances of survival are?'
I told her that I'm still not sure. I hadn't thought
that far ahead, I'll let her know, if
and when I'm going to cark it.
And a friend brings dubious comfort
with deep spiritual wisdom -
'All of us are going to die,
and none of us knows when, or why...'
Lifespan's predetermined, she believes,
so what's the use of worrying?
Or trying?
But I'm not fretting over lifespans -
I'm just thinking about Thursday,
and dreading it.
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Comments
I suppose it's not just
I suppose it's not just Thursday in itself, but the looming of the start of the tunnel again as you say. It must be very wearing/wearing. Having chosen to go through with it, you're doing what you can, partly for the sake of your family I think, and have to ask grace day by day. You have shared many moments of cheer on the way. Rhiannon
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One step at a time I suppose
One step at a time I suppose but some steps are giant strides and not baby steps and I expect that Thursday's step is one of those giant ones that takes a lot of thinking about. Difficult to stay positive but your writing I hope helps, and I'm sure helps others.
Take care.
Lindy
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with friends like that who
with friends like that who needs enemas! ..Hope Thursday goes ok for you. 'keep ahad '- as we say in geordie-land. Will be thinking of you.
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oh dear, yes I suppose you
oh dear, yes I suppose you will be getting all the terrible foot in mouth and otherwise comments. I'm so sorry Bee. Perhaps I wil try to find a particularly awful motivational poster site if I can remember what the address is. it will hopefully make you giggle a bit (or at least count your lucky stars you live nowhere near the author).
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Bee it must be so difficult
Bee it must be so difficult with these treatments looming like dark clouds. Laughter, small treats, little things to keep you going, friends with fur who don't say the wrong thing. I really enjoy reading your posts, keep them coming and best wishes x
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Hello there, Bee. This
Hello there, Bee. This reminded me of my daughter's radiation treatment sessions. After the very last one they gave her the bespoke facemask she had to wear to protect the 'good' side of her face during her treatment. We brought it home with us on the train from London to Bedford and that evening, as soon as it grew dark, she lit a bonfire, with, you know what, given pride of place at its very summit. That about said it all, and more, I think
Shall be thinking of you. Atta girl
Tina
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Tough times, wishing Thursday
Tough times, wishing Thursday and its aftermath a speedy departure.
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Hi Bee
Hi Bee
As awful as your treatment has been, you have survived it so well - and even come out with some positive cheery thoughts. We are all thinking about you and wishing you well, and can't wait for four weeks to be over, so it will all be behind you.
Jean
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very human to worry about the
very human to worry about the things we worry about, living and all it brings, every Third Thursday, I guess, gives you something to fix on and hope it will be over, for all the right reasons. I hope your race is won.
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God, couldnt you just shoot
God, couldnt you just shoot well-meaningblethering idiots. I like this because it just ignores them and moves back to the focus. Thursdays. Love to you.
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know that I think of you when
know that I think of you when I need a shot of inspiration. Love and hugs to you, dear lafy.
Rich x
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I like Alice's comment.
I like Alice's comment. Sometimes people say the strangest things in attempts to comfort.
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Dear Bee,
Dear Bee,
As usual, you exist in the real world and face the stark reality of your situation with great fortitude and honesty. Your journey must be an inspiration to other sufferers. I don't have the right words to comfort you but know that you are in our farts. Whoops! Hearts, I meant hearts!
Moya xx
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