Result! part 2.

By Bee

Sat, 05 Dec 2015
  • 8555 reads
16 comments
 

And now if I'm honest, though I never mentioned it at the time, I'm scared of how I'll feel when I see the one breast dangling lonely on my chest next to an ugly scar, and when my bra constantly rides up on one side, I'll hate that. I'm seriously thinking of having both boobs off. They said they would do it if I wanted; told me to go away and think it over. When I asked John what he thought, he said it was up to me, but I wanted an opinion. I know it's up to me, but it's a big decision. Why don't people tell you their thoughts on the matter when you ask for an opinion, yet when you don't ask, they are all too happy to supply it. 

Lots of women opt for a double mastectomy, not because the cancer might spread from one breast to the other, because it doesn't jump like that. The cancer in the one breast spreads to surrounding areas and through the lymphatic system, and the unaffected breast has the same chance of getting cancer as any other breast. But many women choose a double mastectomy because they don't want to take the chance of getting breast cancer again. There are also those who, like me, worry about that, but who would opt for the double because they prefer symmetry. I want, like one woman I read about, to get up in the morning and throw on a T shirt to walk the dogs, and not have to first battle with a bra trying to arrange matching breasts, but if I tell them to take both, would it just be double the pain and double the ugly? The symmetry would be good, and yes, and a bra might still ride up, but then, most of the time I wouldn't need to wear one. Then again, with one breast, I might still feel like a woman - I really don't know - there's no one to ask except John, who with the best intentions says, 'It's up to you.' Help!

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Comments

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

Don't they do implants anymore? I thought they were offered routinely

 

Submitted by Bee on

Hi insert.

I can't have that for at least two years because they expect the type I've got to come back during that time and need to get it as soon as. But it's still easier to match up two the same... Isn't it? Everything is going round my mind - reconstruction might make it worth keeping the one... You have made me think again.

Thanks.

Bee

Submitted by Deliberately Ev... on

The the sake of safety and symmetry I would have them both off. 

The beat of your heart is the mellifluent rhythm to my soul.

Submitted by Bee on

Thank you so much for that. AE. It's just what I was thinking. smiley

x

Bee

Submitted by Starfish Girl on

When my sister in law was diagnosed with breast cancer, she'd had some removed and was told that it might not spread but opted for a single mastectomy, to 'be on the safe side'. She was 70 and I know that makes no difference to how you feel about yourself. She was given the choice of reconstruction but decided against it, not wanting even more surgery. She now wears one of those bras that are padded. I must say that i can't tell which side is missing (I've forgotten) and unless you knew she looks perfectly normal, although I do suppose it depends on the size of the breasts originally. I know before the op she spoke to other women who showed her their scars and I think this made it easier, this had been arranged by the hospital. Four yeard down the line she is fine and hardly ever mentions it, except when going for her yearly mammogram.

Hope my ramblings been of some use Bee.

Lindy

Submitted by Bee on

Lindy, this has been so helpful, thank you very much for taking the time to comment, I really appreciate it. Pleased to know that your sister-in-law is doing great two years on; that's wonderful news. And you are right, age doesn't make much difference about how you view yourself. I suppose you just have to grow accustomed to the new body. 

Bee

Submitted by catherine poarch on

I have no expertise here. I think I'd be tempted by symmetery, not to mention safety. All I can say is - you don't need to decide yet? Let the answer come to you. Revel in getting better.

 

Submitted by Bee on

I'm really pleased you took the time to comment on this, Catherine, I thought perhaps no one would. I am swaying towards symmetry - maybe get a tattoo done, like a lace bra, or something. I've seen some good ones that kind of make a feature of what could be a disaster. Never had a tattoo before.

Thanks so much, Catherine. 

Bee

Submitted by jeand on

Hi Bee

I can understand how John wouldn't want to be committed, but there are strong arguments for both options. I don't think you can get away without making your personal choice. Which ever you decide will be fine. 
Jean

 

Jean Day

Submitted by Bee on

So sinsible, Jean. I'm going to keep what you said in mind, whichever I decide will be fine.

Thank you.

x

Bee

Submitted by grover on

My wife recently had a double masectomy and a rebuild as she had the BRACA1 gene giving a high chance of breast cancer. This was obviously preventative. Have you been tested for BRACA gene? I think normally you have to have a history in the family of cancer. But I'd say lose the other one so you're not always worried about having to go through it again. This way you're taking control of things and the eventual rebuild will look even for sure. I wouldn't want my wife to go through surgery again for the other one - why not get it all out of the way in one session. 

 

Submitted by Bee on

Hi Grover.

Your comments here are so very much appreciated. Your wife made a brave and sensible decision, and I'm so glad she was able to get the rebuild. Hope she is all recovered by now. I haven't been tested, and can't have an implant (on the bad side) as there won't be enough left, but your advice is very sensible - especially as I wouldn't want to go back under for more surgery later if it could all be done and dusted in a go. 

Thank you so much for taking the time.

My best wishes to you and your wife. 

x

Bee

Submitted by Denzella on

Bee,

This is  a hard one. My only, probably unhelpful suggestion, is to write down the pros and cons of all options and see if that helps you to decide.  

You are, as always in my thoughts,

Moya x

 

Submitted by Bee on

That's a good idea.

Thanks Moya. 

x

Bee

Submitted by camilla on

It might be an idea to consider how much weight one might be carrying on one side if one "leaves one" because it might cause back problems. One wouldnt be wearing prosthetics all the time.

 

Submitted by Bee on

Hi Camilla.

Not too personal at all. I did invite opinions, and yours is much valued and considered. You are right, I think; I wouldn't want to fall over, or anything. wink

Thank you.  

Bee