Dozey Bella and Cippy

Cherry

By jeand

Sun, 13 Aug 2023
  • 1640 reads
16 comments
 

 

 

Time for an update. As the title says, my two brain cancers are cooperating with their radiation treatment and have shrunk a bit - I don’t know the actual amounts. And there are no new signs of sisters lurking in their shadows. 

 

I should be elated but strangely enough, I don’t feel quite like that. I was expecting bad news.  Not terribly bad, just a little bit bad, and now that the news is good, I still have to wonder about the various symptoms I am still getting. 

 

The most common symptom of brain cancer are headaches.  I seldom had them before my cancer days - but now they are a regular feature of my life.  It used to be I would get one every other week or so, and paracetamol would deal with it. But recently I have had them nearly every day, and worse than usual, and paracetamol doesn’t do the trick.  Sometimes I get short sharp piercing blasts - but then they are gone.  The cancer specialists say if Paracetamol can cope, you have no need to worry. 

 

The second symptom is seizures.  I googled them as I don’t know what to expect. Apparently it is a very broad definition.  It could be sitting and suddenly go blank for a minute or two, and don’t really know what is going on around you. I have had that. Or it might be a limb that twitches on and on. My legs do a lot of that in bed.  Or you can faint and have multiple other worse problems, but it said that it wasn’t really like an epileptic seizure. 

 

I’m also tired.  I generally wake up about 8, but by 10 I am very much needing a nap. And another one at 1, and then can’t wait to get to bed by 8.  I still manage to get my bridge and reading and tv and computer fixes each day, and have no real pain to complain about. 

 

Then there are the medical questions.  Some of the signs of new cancer are an increase in the blood test called the CAE or something like that.  Mine has gone from 2 to 14 - why?

 

But today I had news that one of my choir friends has just died.  She was diagnosed about the same time as I was, and had breast surgery about 3 months before me. So I spent awhile asking her what to expect and  at that time she was quite positive and hopeful. Then when I started getting my brain problems, she got the results of her latest scan and it wasn’t good.   That was about 3 months ago.  So while I am feeling sorry for my lack of energy and vague headaches, she is now beyond all that.  I’m thinking that she is probably quite happy in her new life - as she was a very committed Christian and very good person.  But maybe I should be happier that I can still see the flowers and breathe in the fresh air. 

 

 

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Comments

Submitted by marandina on

Lovely to hear from you, Jean. It sounds like you are still in there, fighting this thing. So sorry to hear that about your friend. Your quality of writing defies the physical challenges you are encountering. These updates will be invaluable for people reading in a similar situation. 

 

Take care of yourself. Paul x 

 

Submitted by jeand on

Hi Paul

 

thank you so much for commenting.  All my commebnts had gone into spam for some reason, and I only found them  because I was worrying about something I thought should be there. I thought nobody had commente because I was being such a selfish ungrateful pig.  When I consider the cost and effort that has been spent to keep me alive, and then I complain about a few niggles.  It was how I was honestly feeling however, but I am better now.  And I am really greateful for being as well as I am, and for having such good friends.l

Jean Day

Submitted by Starfish Girl on

Hi Jean

So pleased you have posted an update. It is good that the brain tumours have reduced slightly. I can understand that you do not feel completely elated considering your symptoms and not quite understanding them. Sad news about your friend.

I like your last comment, not easy to appreciate the simple beauties of the world in certain circumstances.

Dear Jean please take care and keep writing and stay as positive as possible.

Love

Lindyx

Submitted by jeand on

Thanks so much Linday

   All my commebnts had gone into spam for some reason, and I only found them  because I was worrying about something I thought should be there. I thought nobody had commente because I was being such a selfish ungrateful pig.  When I consider the cost and effort that has been spent to keep me alive, and then I complain about a few niggles.  It was how I was honestly feeling however, but I am better now.  And I am really greateful for being as well as I am, and for having such good friends.

Jean Day

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

I'm also very pleased to see an update from you - thank you - and to hear the good news about your slightly shrinking tumours.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend though, and you are, of course, right about the flowers and the fresh air, but with bridge, reading, TV and computering, you really don't sound like you're doing too badly with that - keep it up!

 

Submitted by jeand on

Thanks so much Insert.

 All my commebnts had gone into spam for some reason, and I only found them  because I was worrying about something I thought should be there. I thought nobody had commented because I was being such a selfish ungrateful pig.  When I consider the cost and effort that has been spent to keep me alive, and then I complain about a few niggles.  It was how I was honestly feeling however, but I am better now.  And I am really greateful for being as well as I am, and for having such good friends.l

Jean Day

Submitted by Penny4athought on

Staying positive when faced with a harsh diagnosis is difficult but you have a good outlook, by your last line and, as none of us knows the end of our chapter, living each day and seeking the beauty in it is the best we can do. I am happy to read the radiation is working and pray it will continue to do so.

Penny4athought

Submitted by jeand on

Thanks Penny

thank you so much for commenting.  All my commebnts had gone into spam for some reason, and I only found them  because I was worrying about something I thought should be there. I thought nobody had commente because I was being such a selfish ungrateful pig.  When I consider the cost and effort that has been spent to keep me alive, and then I complain about a few niggles.  It was how I was honestly feeling however, but I am better now.  And I am really greateful for being as well as I am, and for having such good friends.l

Jean Day

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Hi Jean,

It's good to hear that your two brain cancers are cooperating with radiation treatment and have shrunk a bit. Your strength during this time is commendable, which will go a long way in your recovery I'm sure.

I was sorry to hear of your friend, it must have been an awful blow to get her news.

I hope you stay positive and  keep enjoying the activities that make you happy. It's also good that you continue to keep us posted with your writing.

Take care.

Jenny.

 

Submitted by jeand on

Thanks Jenny

thank you so much for commenting.  All my commebnts had gone into spam for some reason, and I only found them  because I was worrying about something I thought should be there. I thought nobody had commente because I was being such a selfish ungrateful pig.  When I consider the cost and effort that has been spent to keep me alive, and then I complain about a few niggles.  It was how I was honestly feeling however, but I am better now.  And I am really greateful for being as well as I am, and for having such good friends.l

Jean Day

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Dear Jean,

It is good for us to understand some of your pathway. I'm glad you enjoy all the little pleasures day by day, and the beauty. Your comment about your friend highlights that the future life whenever it comes is even better, and for it we can simply trust in all Jesus did for us, but meanwhile we walk with Him day be day, whether our troubles are big or small. The 'small' troubles of many of us can seem enormous at the time. Much love, Rhiannon

 

Submitted by jeand on

Thanks Rhiannon I hope you had a nice holiday. Thank you for all your prayers and helpful comments to try to keep me thinking the right way.

thank you so much for commenting.  All my commebnts had gone into spam for some reason, and I only found them  because I was worrying about something I thought should be there. I thought nobody had commente because I was being such a selfish ungrateful pig.  When I consider the cost and effort that has been spent to keep me alive, and then I complain about a few niggles.  It was how I was honestly feeling however, but I am better now.  And I am really greateful for being as well as I am, and for having such good friends.l

Jean Day

Submitted by celticman on

still smelling the roses, Jean. That's a good sign. 

 

Submitted by jeand on

Thanks Jack

thank you so much for commenting.  All my commebnts had gone into spam for some reason, and I only found them  because I was worrying about something I thought should be there. I thought nobody had commente because I was being such a selfish ungrateful pig.  When I consider the cost and effort that has been spent to keep me alive, and then I complain about a few niggles.  It was how I was honestly feeling however, but I am better now.  And I am really greateful for being as well as I am, and for having such good friends.l

Jean Day

Submitted by airyfairy on

I'm a bit behind catching up with things this week, but it was great to find another update from you.

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. It sounds as though you are taking a quietly philosophical view with all that. And you're keeping yourself very busy with the bridge, reading, computer...

Seizures can be exhausting things in themselves. My daughter, who has epilepsy, says myoclonic jerks (the twitchy ones) can be even more annoying than the full tonic clonic unconscious ones, because at least you're not awake for the latter!

Thinking of you, as always, and, again as always, full of admiration for your courage and wonderful humour.

Submitted by jeand on

Thanks so much Airiy.  I was in a bit of a dump when I wrote that last post, but am feeling better now.  I feel somewhat guilty that I am doing so well when my friend didn't get a similar chance.  but I guess it is up to me to prove that my extra months/ years are well spent. 

Jean Day