A Dose of Frogs

People confide a lot in me – I have one of those faces, I’m told. It’s not something I go looking for.

Today a colleague chose to trust me with some troubling information – we’ll call him Tom, but none of you will recognise him anyway so I feel okay about telling you about him.

“Can I talk with you?” he said to me this morning. We were already talking, so I knew this was just his way of broaching a difficult issue.

“Sure, what is it?” I replied. It felt a bit like an American TV programme water-cooler moment but we weren’t wearing smart clothes and you couldn’t see Manhattan out of the window, just some trees.                                                                                                            

Tom looked most uncomfortable and kept aiming his eyes out of the window instead of at me.

“I think I’ve got frogs”, he said.

“Frogs”, I echoed. “In your garden? Do you have a pond or a stream?”

“No. I mean frogs in the  … toilet” he said, keeping his voice low and constantly looking around to ensure no-one could overhear.

“Frogs in your toilet?” I asked, eyebrows raised, assuming I had misheard. “In the toilet at home?”

“Yes frogs in my toilet, and in the toilet here in work, but they weren’t there to start with. I mean I think I might have ….. passed them. I passed some more this morning, I’ve been passing frogs and they splash about in the water at the bottom of the toilet. Have you ever heard of anyone with that before?”

I didn’t have to think too long to answer that question. The answer was no.

“You mean there are frogs coming out of … “ I tried to clarify, stalling for time.

“Yes, keep your voice down. Have you any idea about what I should do?”

I suggested seeing the doctor.

“How do I tell a doctor or anybody something as weird as that? He might start to wonder about me” Tom said, his anxiety rising. I thought he was maybe starting to regret having said anything to me. I was having regrets too.

I asked him, “How come you were able to tell me?”

“You’re different. I’m sure people tell you weird stuff all the time”.

I couldn’t argue with that.

We stood looking out at the trees for a while saying nothing.

Then he asked, “Could you go and see your doctor and ask him what you should do if you start passing frogs?”

That was another question that I didn’t have to think too long over.

“Do you want to come into the toilet and see?”