Happy

Have you ever been happy
in your life? She asks,
and it doesn't take long
remembering...

the moment, one moment
of nothing much -
a boy, a girl and a baby
in a buggy;

a busy shopping street
on a Saturday afternoon
in Romford, Essex.
Some people's hell

you might think
but not for us that day
though this was before;
when we had no premonition.

It must have been Summer or
maybe Spring, for I am
never happy in Autumn,
the dying season,

or Winter, the time for
hibernation - I hate to be cold.
We stopped at Debenham's,
tea for two and Cow & Gate

for our girl and cakes all round.
Just an ordinary day
to anyone else, nothing exotic,
not a cliche in sight.

Her voice interrupts my reverie,
inclining her head she waits.
So what happened then?
But I don't want to talk about

the years that followed,
robbing me of my early twenties.
I don't want to go there
and don't want to hear

her counsellor-speak words.
I just want to be back
in the tearoom -
you and me holding hands

and admiring our beaming
creation, who has cake
all over her face; keeping
this moment safe forever.

And I did and I have, so when
asked if I've ever been happy -
I can honestly say yes, oh yes.
of course I've been happy.