Alone

This morning I woke up and then got dressed. I did all the things you do all day, everyday. Worrying and then not giving a shit, feeling scared and then feeling brave, then feeling scared again. All the different emotions you feel everyday you really only ever share with yourself. Then, for the first time ever, I felt completely alone, totally on my own.
What I really mean to say, want to say, I can't even describe. Except that in here, in this thing called me, there is just me...all alone, and it just isn't enough! When will that ever be enough?
Someone can hold me, reassure me. Talk to me and care for me, even think of me, but they can't come inside of me and be with me all the time.
I feel so alone, don't you? Tell me it isn't just me, please! Because if it is just me, as I suspect, then I think I really must be going mad! All the things that I do all day are only distractions to keep me from remembering this awful truth.
I can't do this. I really can't. I can't tell you or myself what I am thinking, it's too awful to even think about. Even now, as I write, my hand's trembling. I can't even write what I have to write to get it out of my fucking head! To put it onto paper, to just, let it out somehow. Because I know that it really is just me...completely alone.