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what a fantastic opening
Posted on Sat, 29 Mar 2014
what a fantastic opening chapter - I'm very much looking forward to reading the next part!
Read full commentPosted in The Labour Planet - A Working Title - First Draft
Hello - this was very
Posted on Tue, 18 Mar 2014
Hello - this was very readable, it has a nice easy flow to it. It is quite slow moving though, and i think it could be improved with a good edit - maybe cut it down by a third or so? Welcome to ABC!
Read full commentPosted in All my creation - chapter 1
This is very well done. I
Posted on Mon, 17 Mar 2014
This is very well done. I like the use of repetition, and I think the ending is a good one. It would definitely be worth going through this again with your spellcheck: your English is fantastic, but there are some adjustments needed
Read full commentPosted in Lucky Number Seven
Albert, why don't you put a
Posted on Fri, 14 Mar 2014
Albert, why don't you put a clickable link to your novel on here - and also in the forum? I'm sure you'll get more of an audience that way. good luck!
Read full commentPosted in ONE GOOD TURN
"As far as the adjective use,
Posted on Sat, 04 Jan 2014
"As far as the adjective use, all of my writing tends to be heavy on the imagery, and the idea of taking it out makes me feel like the story/writing won't be 'mine' anymore, if that makes sense. Do you think the "prose" detracts from the story to...
Read full commentPosted in August Shadow (working title): Prologue
Welcome to ABC Venegas. I
Posted on Sun, 15 Dec 2013
Welcome to ABC Venegas. I enjoyed reading this - you have an easy writing style. I hope you'll post more soon. As you mention specific people and places quite often, you might want to change their names, given the nature of your writing.
Read full commentPosted in Our Meeting
Hello Enemy - welcome to ABC.
Posted on Fri, 06 Dec 2013
Hello Enemy - welcome to ABC. I'm not a fantasy fan, so you should take it as a compliment when I say I found this very readable. You write with an easy fluency, although it would be a good idea to have another edit to remove some typos. I will...
Read full commentPosted in Last Words...
..... a very nicely paced,
Posted on Wed, 16 Oct 2013
..... a nicely paced, well-rounded peice. I enjoyed it very much.
One tiny suggestion: for authenticity, I think they would have used the word "wireless" instead of radio then.
Read full commentPosted in The Appointment
Hi Maddi - you said all
Posted on Sun, 13 Jan 2013
Hi Maddi - you said all comments welcome so .... first "Fred woke with a finish" ... not quite sure finish is the right word here More generally .... I enjoyed reading this, but I think it needs some rearranging. It's quite odd that you don't...Read full commentPosted in Just Starting: Part 1
there's something different
Posted on Wed, 02 Nov 2011
there's something different about the style of this, compared to your usual - what do you think fatboy? It's very good, and I really like it - it just seems unlike you (not in a bad way)Read full commentPosted in I Can't Help Wishing Christopher
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