H2N2O4Li+

By ellydawn

Mon, 04 Feb 2008
  • 1232 reads
2 comments
 

Waves against a bloody shore
water but no stones
shedding skin: sanitised and naked
a retreating tide of sorrow and joy
stepping into the hollow
of vanishing fears and dreams
the rise and fall
bears the thief
stealthily, magically
a stream, a river, a sea, an ocean
i am swallowed by molecules
stripped by equation
deconstructed by imitation
i float but am anchored
stained around the edges
i no longer define myself
but consult the black and white
for guidance in my absence
a catalyst of emptiness
an equal and opposite reaction
accelerating decomposition
my chemical swan song

Certificate U
Journal

Comments

Submitted by capoeiragem on
Really liked the images in this piece and how the structure of the poem seems to embody the gentle ebb and flow of the retreating tide. I also found that the lack of end-line punctuation gave the poem an extra dimension, forcing the reader in places to consider the words with an urgency that defies the natural rhythm and flow of the piece,creating a certain schizophrenic tension that exists beneath the surface and serves to darken the overall tone. Not sure if this was your intention but it seems appropriate, especially considering the title. Great poem though, really enjoyed it, thanks!

Submitted by ellydawn on
Thank you for this! I have just started writing again after a break of about ten years - so I am feeling my way back into things....it's really encouraging that you enjoyed this - as it motivates me to work on others!! Once again, thanks.