Three Monkeys (WW2)
By threeleafshamrock
Fri, 24 Apr 2009
- 3149 reads
12 comments
The blind man in the watchtower
called out a warning cry;
There is smoke on the horizon
and ashes fill the sky.
Shut up you fool, cried out the mute,
your statement is a riddle.
You’re there to watch and not to shout;
and tune that bloody fiddle
I think I hear a bell toll;
Don’t you trust my ears at all?
But the deaf man was not heard now
as the bombs began to fall.
Meanwhile within a bunker
A long way underground
The self made king philosophized
and shot his faithful hound
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Comments
it's not often that you come
Permalink Submitted by Curse of 222 on
it's not often that you come across a poem with this kind of rhyme and rhythm without it feeling contrived, but you've missed that trap completely. this is an engaging piece. well done.
jason
jason
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I agree with Jason's
Permalink Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
I agree with Jason's comments, wholeheartedly. You say so much here in such an uncontrived way which is indeed difficult with the rhyme structure you chose. You pulled it off admirably, Chris:-)
My favourite stanza:-
"I think I hear a bell toll;
Don’t you trust my ears at all?
But the deaf man was not heard now
as the bombs began to fall."
Tina xx
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'Meanwhile within a bunker A
Permalink Submitted by MistakenMagic on
'Meanwhile within a bunker
A long way underground
The self made king philosophized
and shot his faithful hound'
Ooo I just got chills from this final stanza. Have you seen the film 'Downfall'? It reminded me so much of this. Also have you read my poem 'No Evil' - under Holocaust Memorial Poetry? Same principle, same war just a different part of it ;) Loved this Chris and well done on the cherry!
Magic xxx
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Late to the party but have
Late to the party but have to agree: this is a beauty, mate. Well done.
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Hey Chris! What do I know -
Hey Chris!
What do I know - but here goes...
Excellent, love it, creativity at its coolest!!
For me the line "your statement is a riddle"
seemed a bit contrived but I love the two lines that follow it given the picture you have painted and having looked up 'riddle' and thought a little more I guess it means that the guy, even if he could see, couldn't possibly see the horizon due to the ashes filling the sky? I am learning that my vocabulary is indeed a little challenged ;). But you guys are waking me up ;). Got to say Chris, your stuff is good mate!
Do you think in this topsy-turvy world that maybe the deaf man should be heard over the bombs?
And perhaps the king, following his clever move, might be best eaten by his hound?
Or have I got it all wrong and is this more a WW1 reference to a General in his bunker as his now war-crazy troops lose the battle?
I'm rubbish at cryptic crosswords too ;)
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Thanks Chris. Well throw me
Thanks Chris.
Well throw me a grenade! I'm not sure whether to feel stupid and embarrassed for not seeing it or what? ;)
I did say earlier on that I didn't feel best placed to comment on some of the work here and it's unfortunate that in trying to play along and comment as was suggested that I start with this little cryptogram.
Oh well at least I gave it a shot. I think I need a bit more signposting for this stuff though and there's only so much humiliation I can take so I shall probably only be speaking through my own work from now on ;)
Looking back I see that (WW2) was a clue but in my naievety I thought it might have been a typo and perhaps should have been WW1. :D
And I suppose if I had remembered that Hitler killed his dog that might have been a big help.
Whilst I salute your ingenuity, I think I like it best as a bit of eloquent inventive topsy turvy nonsense. I never want to have to work that hard when I read a poem although I do appreciate that the crypto crowd relish the challenge.
I'm now wondering if I'm the sole blind monkey here and if all other readers and commenters understood prior to your explanation?
For those who did work it out, is it simply a case of good general knowledge and familiarity with the form or are there other obvious pointers which I missed?
Anyone else brave enough ( or foolish enough ;D ) to join me in my sinking U-boat? ;)
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No worries Chris. ;) It was
No worries Chris. ;) It was said with a smile on my face.
Managed to use my embarrassment to write a short piece called Crypto-Babble: www.abctales.com/story/jupiter/crypto-babble
Still hoping for some takers to my questions above though.
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