Blue
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By seashore
- 22048 reads
BLUE
I don't remember his face
it was so long ago -
small, crumpled yet perfect to me,
but I do remember the silence
after he ceased to breathe,
I looked, I saw
blue
before they took him from me
I never asked where...
and neither did you.
So different with you, his sister -
you I had for half a lifetime
yours, mine – but not long enough
You remembered him too,
faint, disconnected memories
of a baby, who came and went
leaving your child-mind in turmoil
as mine is now...
I see you on my shower-seat
that last Sunday -
woman-child,
as I bathed you, washed your hair
dressed you...and one last time
laid you on my bed,
watching for the rise and fall,
noting your pallor, searching for pink -
reassured hearing your soft snoring
You asked for tea, Earl Grey,
your favourite, made with love
and gratefully sipped -
I've had a nice time, you said,
as I held back tears, wanting to
keep you right here, fearful…
I let them take your brother,
but I knew that couldn't happen again -
brother and sister,
new and young-old, my
imperfect creations -
so I returned you to the so-called
place of safety.
Three days later I heard a doctor
utter those same words -
your son/daughter hasn't made it,
I'm so sorry..
Disbelief - I had to check for myself,
see your lifeless body
noting your hair needed washing again,
when I touched it, it felt the same -
next Sunday, I thought -
but then I saw your face,
mouth half-open as if to speak,
and I knew what I did not want to know -
fate had struck twice
two out of three.
I had seen blue before, so of course
I knew - kissed you goodbye and
turned to my one out of three,
my only child, still holding on to you,
willing her life into yours..
blue, she said
I nodded,
Blue.
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Comments
I'm sitting in IKEA sobbing.
I'm sitting in IKEA sobbing. This is a beautiful poem, well constructed and heartfelt. Bee would have had a lot to say. I wish I could say more.
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You use blue to devastating
You use blue to devastating affect to convey loss that is so difficult to speak of.
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woman-child leads to
woman-child leads to something wild an outpouring of grief and belief that this isn't the way it should be and any-sane-reader will agree
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A lovely poem. Very moving,
A lovely poem. Very moving, and a tangible grief. Though you make it so beautiful, and I want to read again and again.
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Pick of the Day
The raw and visceral nature of this poem will move any reader. You do so well to capture it. A no brainer for Pick of the Day.
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Very lovely poem xx
Very lovely poem xx
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That such beautiful words can
That such beautiful words can come out of such grief I cannot contemplate. Through tears.
Lindy
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the calm words (complete lack
the calm words (complete lack of hyperbole) make a much greater impact than otherwise - as a poem it's flawless - from one mother to another it's unbearable and my heart goes out to you
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I'm so glad this got pick of
I'm so glad this got pick of the day. It really deserves it.
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Who could read this poem and
Who could read this poem and not be moved? It is a most beautiful expression of a terrible pain.
Moya
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This is our Poem of the Week
This is our Poem of the Week - Congratulations!
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I felt every word of this
I felt every word of this beautiful piece, seashore.
Rich x
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You describe these dreadful
You describe these dreadful losses with clarity, so that we put ourselves in your place, but still can only imagine the awful pain you must live with. Another very special poem, thank you for feeling able to share this with us.
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Totally Heart-breaking,
Totally Heart-breaking, however, a beautiful poem which I can relate to well. My son born asleep, whisked away, 40yrs ago (Stephen) second son age 32, twelve years ago (David) . Our hearts are breaking. All I can do is send you my sincere love. We certainly will see then again. Love your Heart- felt poem. Top one for me. Love Geraldine.
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I've read a lot of sad things
I've read a lot of sad things lately, I think this is the saddest. It's sort of unbelievable and somehow so quiet, grounded in its sadness. Love and thoughts with you and the others who commented and have also lost children.
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