Blue

Gold cherry
Poem of the week

By seashore

Wed, 16 Nov 2016
  • 22878 reads
41 comments
 

 

BLUE

 

I don't remember his face

it was so long ago -

small, crumpled yet perfect to me,

but I do remember the silence

after he ceased to breathe,

I looked, I saw

blue

before they took him from me

I never asked where...

and neither did you.

 

So different with you, his sister -

you I had for half a lifetime

yours, mine – but not long enough

 

You remembered him too,

faint, disconnected memories

of a baby, who came and went

leaving your child-mind in turmoil

as mine is now...

 

I see you on my shower-seat

that last Sunday -

woman-child,

as I bathed you, washed your hair

dressed you...and one last time

laid you on my bed,

watching for the rise and fall,

noting your pallor, searching for pink -

reassured hearing your soft snoring

 

You asked for tea, Earl Grey,

your favourite, made with love

and gratefully sipped -

I've had a nice time, you said,

as I held back tears, wanting to

keep you right here, fearful…

 

I let them take your brother,

but I knew that couldn't happen again -

brother and sister,

new and young-old, my

imperfect creations -

so I returned you to the so-called

place of safety.

 

Three days later I heard a doctor

utter those same words -

your son/daughter hasn't made it,

I'm so sorry..

 

Disbelief - I had to check for myself,

see your lifeless body

noting your hair needed washing again,

when I touched it, it felt the same -

next Sunday, I thought -

but then I saw your face,

mouth half-open as if to speak,

and I knew what I did not want to know -

fate had struck twice

two out of three.

 

I had seen blue before, so of course

I knew - kissed you goodbye and

turned to my one out of three,

my only child, still holding on to you,

willing her life into yours..

blue, she said

I nodded,

Blue.

 

Certificate 12
Poem
seashore
Love
Autobiography

Comments

Submitted by Deliberately Ev... on

I'm sitting in IKEA sobbing. This is a beautiful poem, well constructed and heartfelt. Bee would have had a lot to say. I wish I could say more.

The beat of your heart is the mellifluent rhythm to my soul.

Submitted by seashore on

Thank you Accidentally existing - I really appreciate your response and kind words.

Submitted by VeraClark on

You use blue to devastating affect to convey loss that is so difficult to speak of.

 

Submitted by seashore on

Sometimes it's only the act of writing it down that makes it real.  It's so hard to believe both losses really happened - but then nobody ever said life was fair.  Thanks for commenting Vera.

Submitted by celticman on

woman-child leads to something wild an outpouring of grief and belief that this isn't the way it should be and any-sane-reader will agree

 

Submitted by seashore on

No it isn't the way it should be at all, and the outpouring of grief goes on, as it always will celticman.

Submitted by seashore on

Thanks for that Rosa x

Submitted by sean mcnulty on

A lovely poem.  Very moving, and a tangible grief.  Though you make it so beautiful, and I want to read again and again.

 

Submitted by seashore on

Thank you so much sean.

Submitted by tcook on

The raw and visceral nature of this poem will move any reader. You do so well to capture it. A no brainer for Pick of the Day.

Join us on Facebook and/or Twitter to get a great reading recommendation every day.

 

Submitted by seashore on

Thank you Tony for the pick. Much appreciated.

Submitted by alexwritings on

Very lovely poem xx

 

Submitted by seashore on

Thank you Ajhoward X

Submitted by Starfish Girl on

That such beautiful words can come out of such grief I cannot contemplate. Through tears.

Lindy

Submitted by seashore on

Thank you Lindy.

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

the calm words (complete lack of hyperbole) make a much greater impact than otherwise - as a poem it's flawless - from one mother to another it's unbearable and my heart goes out to you

 

Submitted by Deliberately Ev... on

I'm so glad this got pick of the day. It really deserves it.

The beat of your heart is the mellifluent rhythm to my soul.

Submitted by seashore on

Thank you insert...and thanks also Ae for your additional comment.

Submitted by Denzella on

Who could read this poem and not be moved?  It is a most beautiful expression of a terrible pain.

Moya

 

Submitted by seashore on

Many thanks for reading & commenting Moya.

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

This is our Poem of the Week - Congratulations!

 

Submitted by seashore on

Good news on a less than good day.  It means a lot, so many thanks, insert.

Submitted by hudsonmoon on

I felt every word of this beautiful piece, seashore. 

Rich x

 

Submitted by seashore on

Thanks Rich - I know why...x

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

You describe these dreadful losses with clarity, so that we put ourselves in your place, but still can only imagine the awful pain you must live with.  Another very special poem, thank you for feeling able to share this with us.

Submitted by seashore on

Thanks PS..Yes it is hard to talk, to describe the pain, and hard for others to understand, and respond, but putting it out there in this way has given me a voice - if that makes sense.

Submitted by Ladylily on

Totally Heart-breaking, however,  a beautiful poem which I can relate to well. My son born asleep, whisked away, 40yrs ago  (Stephen) second son age 32, twelve years ago (David) . Our hearts are breaking. All I can do is send you my sincere love. We certainly will see then again.  Love your Heart- felt poem. Top one for me. Love Geraldine.

LadyLily

Submitted by seashore on

Ah, just received your message.  Thank you Geraldine - have you heard of The Compassionate Friends - charity for bereaved parents?  They keep me going...xx

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

I've read a lot of sad things lately, I think this is the saddest. It's sort of unbelievable and somehow so quiet, grounded in its sadness. Love and thoughts with you and the others who commented and have also lost children.

 

Submitted by seashore on

Many thanks Jane Hyphen - yes would that it wasn't true, sadly it is.

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