Bristol Blue Glass

Gold cherry
Poem of the week
Pick of the Month

By Noo

Tue, 03 Jan 2017
  • 5134 reads
11 comments
 

When I saw the missed calls, I fed my dread with sugar

Bracing myself with gulps of vanilla milkshake and chocolate wafers

Although I should have known what was coming

Because I’ve known it for years.

You didn’t know

With your half-finished crossword

Your broken bowl of cereal spilling on the floor,

And people will call that a mercy.

 

Straight after, we walked back to the hotel

Stopping on the way at a shop selling

Bristol blue glass

I picked up a bauble and looked through it

At the kind, bright blue world.

At reception, we sat under a picture of Twiggy with clown makeup

The manager wished me Happy New Year and I couldn’t reply

But I’m glad you managed to miss my birthday - that was thoughtful of you.

 

Your house where you ruled over a wife and children

Is a mausoleum.

Photos of my own children, babies still

In jumpers that haven’t fitted them for ten years

Threads caught in the fabric of the place.

And I won’t wait to write this or re-evaluate

Because this is real.  This moment, these words.

Not re-invention or transformation,

The softening, sickening protocol of grief.

 

Instead I will write it out

Looking for myself in all the rooms I’ve hidden in

And I will feel

 

I don’t know what I will feel.

 

All I know is that

Tonight my DNA that was your DNA, is tired

And this is not an elegy

Not a tribute.

I know you’re no longer on the earth

You’re in the room where I’ve locked you

I hope I won’t visit you very often.

Certificate 12
Poem

Comments

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

I have no words, Noo.  Yours are so special here.

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

So much to unpick in this wonderful poem - it's our Facebook and Twitter Pick of the Day

Please share/retweet if you like it!

 

Submitted by seashore on

What a beautiful piece of writing...gave me chills x

Submitted by rosaliekempthorne on

This is lovely poem, well written.  I was immediately drawn in by the opening line.  Also: "soft, sickening protocol of grief" is perfectly expressed.

Submitted by VeraClark on

This is our Poem of the Week. Noo, I found this startling in its honesty and fragile beauty, I also love how you speak out against conventional expectations of grief and how one should be feeling. I wish you good things.

 

Submitted by Frances Macaula... on

The truth/honesty in this piece is palpable - straight from your heart and I too, felt every thought. 

Lines which stood out and will be remembered:  

"I fed my dread with sugar"

"Threads caught in the fabric of the place."

"Instead I will write it out  / Looking for myself in all the rooms I’ve hidden in"

"You’re in the room where I’ve locked you / I hope I won’t visit you very often."

Well done and congratulations on the Cherries which lead me to you - I am a new fan.

 

Soundcloud:  https://soundcloud.com/search?q=FrancesMF

Submitted by celticman on

DNA doesn't get tired, but it does break, this is great. 

 

Submitted by celticman on

DNA can do whatever you want it to, as long as you spell it write. 

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

This is our Poem of the Month - Congratulations!

 

Submitted by YaseminB on

This is wonderful and sad.

Yasemin Balandi

Submitted by Sim on

With chilling economy of words and precise imagery this takes us into the moment and cuts to the core of a broken relationship. I wish you happier times, Noo.
.

Sim