I Remember when there was So Much Space

Cherry

By Jane Hyphen

Wed, 06 May 2020
  • 1703 reads
9 comments
 

 

I remember when there was 

So much space

Stretching out in front of me like

A vast ocean

With sunlight sparkling upon waves

I felt full

Wondering what lay in the deep water

Happy to drift

Along with wherever the current took me

All was calm

But the lull made me want to splash and

Rock the boat

Strange creatures fell upon the deck but

We held hands  

Like ballast they took their places all aboard

A stabilising force

Together we were strong, we forged ahead

Memories were made

But soon the clouds rolled in and the wind

Began to howl

And just to stay afloat I had to work so hard

I grew weak

I watched as friends fell overboard and began 

To float away

Something happened, time and tide flew by

At lightning speed

The waves grew so high I couldn’t see ahead I

Lost my way

It seemed as if I’d wasted all the years

I felt empty

Scared of the monsters buried in the deep

The winds dropped

I was stranded and alone but it was calm

I listened and

Heard my inner voice and saw my reflection in

The flat sea

And with the water now so clear I looked upon

The sea bed

Saw nothing but the gently swaying reeds

I felt full

I looked back, saw the distance I had come

And I relaxed

The horizon seemed to draw nearer but

It looked bright

I felt the sun upon my skin and drifted away

Into a sleep

 

 

Certificate U
Poem
Inspiration Point (work that responds to our weekly writing cue)

Comments

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Some dreamy lines in this poem Jane. There is a significance of a longing for space to spread your wings and break free, but being held down and loosing your way. Does this have anything to do with the lockdown and not being able to see family and friends?

It felt like a significant poem of being adrift on a large ocean and loosing friends to the great wave of this awful disease.

Very clever descriptions.

Jenny.

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Thanks Jenny. I suppose it's really about being young and that feeling that you have so much time and then you drift around without a plan and things get in the way but in the end all that matters is making peace with yourself. However as you say, it might just as well be about lockdown and the situation we currently find ourselves in. Thanks for your comment.

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

 Interesting metaphor for life: unworried and hopeful youth, the rush and pressures of adulthood, the calmness that can return when pressures off and enjoyment and contentment with what we have. The horizon ahead can be bright if we know God's redemption, but though that gives comfort and rest, it should also energise for useful, strengthened service (not wasted), new friendships, peace for fears! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Thanks for your comment Rhiannon. I remember the unworried hopeful youth and that feeling that you have all this time and space but all too quickly the pressures of adulthood come as you say. The calmness hasn't returned for me yet but hopefully it will and we can all find ways of knowing peace towards the end of life.

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

Wonderful imagery - very creative use of the IP. Great dreamlike rhythm

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Thank you Insert and many thanks for the cherriessmiley

 

Submitted by agnosticnun on

Love the rhytm of this - like waves rolling.

Kristi

Submitted by Di_Hard on

I keep thinking about this poem since first reading. I love the way the rhythm makes me think of waves slapping on a small wooden boat. The bit I keep remembering is

Strange creatures fell upon the deck but

We held hands  

Like ballast they took their places all aboard

A stabilising force

Together we were strong, we forged ahead

Memories were made

 

but I like how you go through emotions on your voyage, too. And the ending is comforting too. I really like this poem :0)

 

Submitted by celticman on

I like the rise and fall. the good and the bad. the most of all. no sinking and no slinking. beneath the waves, another wave.