The Empty Chair! 309 words

Cherry

By Denzella

Tue, 23 Jun 2015
  • 7456 reads
27 comments
 

Today would have been our 53rd Wedding Anniversary - The Empty Chair! 309 words

Yesterday I set the table for two,
Then realised what was missing, was you!
I looked for you, but you weren't there,
All I had to stare at was an empty chair.

I expected to see your smiling face,
But what greeted me was an awful space.
My heart and my home each an empty shell,
Why am I sentenced to live in this hell?
  
Sometimes I can laugh but mostly I cry,
I can't help it; I can't stop asking why?
Why did you leave me on my own like this?
You talking and laughing is what I miss.

I've loved you for well over fifty years,
So it's hardly surprising I shed tears.
The house seems so empty without you here,
All I wanted from life was to have you near.

It's hard to cope, but I'm doing my best,
Though it is dreadful and I cannot rest.
I wander the house each and every night,
Still thinking of you and us till first light.

We gave each other strength to carry on,
Well, I'm still here but you have gone.
To leave me first is not what we agreed,
And not only that you left with such speed.

Eating alone is the worst time for me.
This is not how it was meant to be.
I still expect to see you sitting there,
Instead, I am faced with that empty chair.

I know I must go on for our daughters' sake,
So I endure this terrible heartache.
It's just as well the future is unknown,
If only my heart would turn to cold stone.

That is the only way to ease the pain,
And stop my eyes from pouring rain.
I never expected this change of life,
I was always meant to be your wife.

 

Certificate 12
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Comments

Submitted by Bee on

This is so beautiful, Moya. Tears are streaming down my face reading it. 

I'll be thinking of you today, as I so often do - just so you know. 

xx

Bee

Submitted by Denzella on

Dear Bee,

Thank you for reading and commenting on this piece.  It was hard to write, but I needed to set down my feelings.  I miss him so much, but you too are in my thoughts and the battle you must win.  Take strength from knowing that all your ABC friends have you in their hearts.  

Moya xx

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Dear Moya, your moving poem is a tribute to your late husband and it has touched me deeply. I can appreciate the pain and the loneliness  that you must feel after losing your beloved Derek with whom you had spent a long and happy time.

With affection and best wishes, Luigi.

 

Submitted by Denzella on

Luigi,

I thank you so much for your kind words and, yes, Derek was the love of my life and it is so hard living here without him.  I do treasure all the memories, but they also remind me of what I've lost.  

With my very best wishes to you and your wife.

Moya

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

It's good to hear you again, Moya, though so sad to share your struggles. This did remind me of all your joy three years ago in composing a review of your thankfulness of the 50 years. So few have such memories of such companionship. My father died when he was 51 very suddenly when they were on holiday in a remote hotel in Ireland.  'I know I must go on for our daughters' sake' reminded me of I hearing my mother, when asked how she was coping say  'My need of God, and my daughters' need for me'. much love, Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Denzella on

Dear Rhiannonw,

Thank you for reading and commenting on this piece.  It is how I feel.  Yes, I remember too how much help I got from everyone at ABC and in particular from you.  I think I adopted every suggestion you made if I remember correctly.  You are a true poet.  I am an impostor posing as a poet.

Thank you again

Moya

 

Submitted by Pat G on

Very, very moving. From the sound of it, a deep love that lasted more than fifty years - a great treasure still gleaming in your life.

Submitted by Denzella on

Hello Pat G,

Thank you for reading and commenting on this piece  Yes, my Derek was indeed a treasure.  He was a thorough-going gentleman as he always walked on the outside of the kerb, always opened doors for people as well as myself and he had the ability to light up a room. That is why it is so difficult to live without him.

Moya

 

Submitted by jolono on

Hard to read and I would imagine hard to write. But beautifully told. All at Abc are thinking of you today Moya. God bless.

 

Submitted by Denzella on

Joe, Thank you so much for your kind words.  They are really appreciated at this time.  I am trying to carry on as best I can so I go out a lot with friends and Lincoln follows me everywhere.  He is lying at my feet now and even if I'm in the same room if I move he follows me.  The other day my shoulder was particularly painful as I tried to get dressed.  He heard me moaning and was up the stairs in a flash.  

Thank you once again, Joe,

Moya

 

Submitted by celticman on

tribulation and tribute rolled into one, which was two, something you did not choose. sad but uplifting. 

 

Submitted by Denzella on

Thank you celtic, I see you are still good with words.  I am so pleased that funding for your book is almost there.  Fingers and toes crossed. 

 

Submitted by celticman on

thanks moya. 

 

Submitted by scratch on

Tis a great poem but one that I would've rather not have been written.

 

Submitted by Denzella on

Dear Scratch,

Yes, I too wish I hadn't had need to write it, but it does sum up how I'm feeling.  At certain times, it hits me like a punch in the guts and the pain of it is just dreadful.

Moya

 

Submitted by scratch on

I cannot imagine it.  It even frightens me to give it thought, Moya.

 

Submitted by Denzella on

Thank you to the cherry pickers.  You all do a wonderful job and it's nice to see that when one receives notification of a cherry award you add 'Congratulations!'  A small thing but I missed it as it always used to be there.

Moya

 

 

Submitted by scratch on

I missed that little thing too, Moya.

 

Submitted by love_writing on

Cannot imagine how hard this would be to write...but it is a beautiful tribute. Lovely photo too...x

love_writing

Submitted by Denzella on

Hello love-writing,

Thank you for reading  and commenting on my poem, if I can call it that. My Derek was a wonderful  man and loved by everyone who knew him.  He was  also very funny.

moya

 

Submitted by VeraClark on

A deeply painful read. But so well expressed, Moya. I'm thinking of you often and with love. It's comforting to know that Lincoln is a loyal intuitive support.  That picture of you and Derek is fabulous.

 

Submitted by Denzella on

Hello Ray,

Thank you for reading and commenting on this piece.  You met Derek just once, but he made an impression on  you too.   He was instantly memorable.  I don't know how he did it but  then he was magic.

Moya

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Often think of you, Moya...as you can imagine.  Words are not enough...from me, at least.  Yours, say it all.

Tina

 

Submitted by Denzella on

Hello Dear Tina.,

Thank you for reading this and commenting too.  Kind words may not be enough, but they comfort that's for sure  and because of that I thank you for yours.

Moya 

 

Submitted by hudsonmoon on

Really lovely, Moyà.  It cannot  have been easy for you to write. my love and prayers are with you everyday. I hope you get the urge to share more. x

Rich

 

Submitted by Denzella on

Hello Rich,

Thank you too for your kind words. It was easy to write because I did actually lay the table for two. The hard part was sharing it.  It felt like I was letting my guard down if that makes sense.   I felt exposed.  It's strange how  grief takes one.  We all seem to take it differently, but also the same in some ways.  I'm not making much sense, but you might know what I mean.. 

Moya

 

Submitted by hudsonmoon on

You make perfect sense, Moya. I know exactly what you mean. Grief is such a personal thing. It took me months before I could try and translate it to paper. I don't think there's a time limit on grief. We just get better at managing it over time. I don't believe you ever get over it. You just do your best to get through it. Flag me down, anytime, Moyà. I'm a good ear. 

Rich xx