IN THE GARDEN

Cherry

By Alice Hamilton

Thu, 08 Feb 2018
  • 3593 reads
17 comments
 

Dark sky, winter moon,

A scattering of bright stars.

Six o’clock. Morning.

 

Path sparkling with frost.

Footsteps echoing. Listen!

Hedge sparrows chirping.

 

Snowdrops in clusters,

Pure white petals, broad green leaves—

Shy bloom, Spring’s first child.

 

Do koi carp still swim,

Beneath this icy blanket?

The pond is frozen.

 

Smooth grey-green branches,

Black, velvety leaf buds. Ash—

Three hundred years old.

 

Red fox sniffs the air,

Ears alert, stops, moves on. Watch!

Sly, stealthy, prowling.

 

Hazy, golden sky.

Grass shimmers in the sunlight.

A new start. Daybreak.

 
Certificate U
Poetry Monthly

Comments

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

This is lovely! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Alice Hamilton on

Thanks - haiku is a lovely poetic form ... with challenging rules! The kireji or ‘cutting word’ gave me the idea of using haiku for February’s theme: twist.

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

I have not known anything about haiku except the 'syllable' counts, and hadn't heard about the 'kireji'. You have certainly worked hard, and it gives what is lovely content, an interesting flow with change and contrast (twist!). Rhiannon

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

I felt all my senses working reading your poem Alice. Beautifully mastered.

Jenny.

 

Submitted by Alice Hamilton on

Thanks - the best examples of haiku convey a sense of wonder and surprise at what has been observed. The Japanese masters (Basho, Buson, Issa) seem to achieve this effortlessly. My attempt is a pale imitation!

 

Submitted by fatboy74 on

This is lovely Alice. Form, picture, subject in perfect harmony. 

 

Submitted by Alice Hamilton on

Thank you. I really like the words ‘perfect harmony’ - much appreciated!

 

Submitted by bosch on

good feel for the importance of the image. your haiku springy, alive,

Submitted by Alice Hamilton on

Thank you. I appreciate encouraging feedback. 

 

 

Submitted by Pat G on

Spring';s first child - a memorable phrase.  It made me sniff the air.

Submitted by Alice Hamilton on

Thank you for commenting. Snowdrops - the very first sign of Spring. They always appear earlier than I expect and they survive the harshest weather; mine are still in bloom after very heavy snow. However, no saffron crocuses - squirrels destroyed the bulbs.

 

 

Submitted by alexwritings on

Wow, really lovely poem! Thoroughly enjoyed it :) Alex

 

Submitted by Alice Hamilton on

Thank you for your comment. ‘Wow’ is one of my favourite words!

By the way, I really like the sound of ‘Library Cat’ - just ordered a copy from Waterstones.

 

 

Submitted by iwylie on

Simple beauty, made me want to sit in the woods and fill up my senses. 

 

Submitted by Alice Hamilton on

Thank you! Often I do just that: I go to Kew Gardens and sit on a bench among the trees. Heaven!

 

 

Submitted by torscot on

Hello AH.    I enjoyed reading this tale.  Very visual I thought.  Hot chocolate required. 

If you are interested in Haiku you may like to visit   "...TINYWORDS haiku & other small poems..."

Plus take a look at Alan Summers. He is an award winning ( UK based) writer of Haiku.  He can 

be found on Area 17.

Kind regards.

torscot

Submitted by Alice Hamilton on

Thank you! I enjoy the challenge of writing (or trying to write) haiku. I shall look at the material you mention - sounds interesting.